278 Marbles
My mother can’t talk very much anymore. When I visit her in the senior’s home, she sometimes tries a few incoherent words but generally is content to stay silent. I give her her manicure and I attempt to stay present with her. Having my kids along with me helps me to feel less sad about the bits of my mother that I am slowly losing over time.
Today when I was with her, I drifted into the past and remembered her voice in our home, the refrains that she used to say when I’d be relaying a story. One of them that I remember hearing her say often was, “Life’s hard, Dear.” I pause to use the past tense because her words often reverberate in my mind in the present tense. This phenomena makes me curious about the legacy of words and beliefs that we pass down from generation to generation. Is life really hard? My mother thought it was. The question is, what do I think?
I’ve had moments of complete ease in my life when things have fallen into place with no sweat from my own being. I’ve also had times where I’ve felt things more stagnant, when there was less flow. Yet I’ve often noted that when things felt really challenging, it was usually my method of framing the situation that made it so. When I’ve tried to get outside my own myopic way of looking at a problem, I’d usually find more ease in finding a solution. A little bit of surrender goes a long way.
When I think about my own children, I don’t want to pass down the notion that life is hard. This is not to say that I don’t want them to be “hard-working” but what is that really? Hard-working to me is the ability to maintain focus to get a job done. It means putting your best energy into whatever you do. This doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be hard because when you love what you do, it can be time-consuming but not difficult. Any challenges and obstacles that may occur can help us dig deeper - as Dolly Parton says, “Storms make trees take deeper roots.” I hope for my children that they will find ease in their lives and meaning in what they do. I hope that they won’t have the core belief from their ancestors that “Life is Hard.”
Are there mantras that you remember your parents and grandparents repeating? As an adult, do you believe these phrases? Let go of the ones you don’t believe. Edit the ones you partially believe. Enjoy the ones that you wholeheartedly endorse. I’m starting to wonder what my family would be like if I often repeated to my kids, “Life is fun!”
My mother can’t talk very much anymore. When I visit her in the senior’s home, she sometimes tries a few incoherent words but generally is content to stay silent. I give her her manicure and I attempt to stay present with her. Having my kids along with me helps me to feel less sad about the bits of my mother that I am slowly losing over time.
Today when I was with her, I drifted into the past and remembered her voice in our home, the refrains that she used to say when I’d be relaying a story. One of them that I remember hearing her say often was, “Life’s hard, Dear.” I pause to use the past tense because her words often reverberate in my mind in the present tense. This phenomena makes me curious about the legacy of words and beliefs that we pass down from generation to generation. Is life really hard? My mother thought it was. The question is, what do I think?
I’ve had moments of complete ease in my life when things have fallen into place with no sweat from my own being. I’ve also had times where I’ve felt things more stagnant, when there was less flow. Yet I’ve often noted that when things felt really challenging, it was usually my method of framing the situation that made it so. When I’ve tried to get outside my own myopic way of looking at a problem, I’d usually find more ease in finding a solution. A little bit of surrender goes a long way.
When I think about my own children, I don’t want to pass down the notion that life is hard. This is not to say that I don’t want them to be “hard-working” but what is that really? Hard-working to me is the ability to maintain focus to get a job done. It means putting your best energy into whatever you do. This doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be hard because when you love what you do, it can be time-consuming but not difficult. Any challenges and obstacles that may occur can help us dig deeper - as Dolly Parton says, “Storms make trees take deeper roots.” I hope for my children that they will find ease in their lives and meaning in what they do. I hope that they won’t have the core belief from their ancestors that “Life is Hard.”
Are there mantras that you remember your parents and grandparents repeating? As an adult, do you believe these phrases? Let go of the ones you don’t believe. Edit the ones you partially believe. Enjoy the ones that you wholeheartedly endorse. I’m starting to wonder what my family would be like if I often repeated to my kids, “Life is fun!”
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