305 Marbles
Every orientation presupposes a disorientation.
Hans Magnus Enzensberger
There's a device that's used in naval aviation training that stimulates what happens when an aircraft lands in water. The trainee is turned upside down and submerged and must find his/her way out of the cockpit and quickly make way to the surface. Sometimes this breakup can make me feel like I'm in one of these devices, like my job is to find which way is up so I can reach the oxygen at the surface.
My friend, Lisa P, told me a story of how when she was 5, she was at her Grandma’s swimming pool. She fell into the water while she was carrying a big beach towel and the weight of it started sinking her to the bottom. She couldn’t let go of the towel because she thought she’d get in heck, so she clung to the towel despite it being what was pulling her down. When she realized that she was drowning and she couldn’t tell which way was up, she decided to follow her air bubbles to the surface (even as a five-year-old she was incredibly smart). This is how she saved herself. By following the bubbles.
This breakup
feels disorienting especially since Ex-man and I have such a long history together. He has been one of my frames of reference for over half of my life. In addition, I often feel like I'm diving into my
past, the places where I first learned about love, and I'm being asked to untangle the truth from the misunderstandings about love. Then my job is to follow the bubbles of truth to the surface because that's what will save me. That's what will save my family.
Can you identify any metaphorical wet towels that are pulling you down? Can you let them go? More importantly, if you're feeling like you're overwhelmed, like you're drowning, can you follow the bubbles to the surface?
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