291 Marbles
We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw
I had a dark night of the soul last night and could not fall asleep until well after four am. Ex-man and I had a stupid fight last night about an ipod charger. He was telling me that the charger our daughter took to his house was “his” charger. We have bought our kids (or they have been given) four ipods over the years and each came with a charger. The details of possession seemed irrelevant to me. The fact that it mattered to him was relevant. It felt to me like he was hoarding. Why the heck is a charger important between friends who have known each other over twenty five years? And what is it with his need to own two of something that would leave me without one? Yes, I could buy another charger, but should I have to? And where are the other two missing ipod chargers?
I couldn’t fall asleep until after four in the morning. I think the contrast of yesterday’s post about there still being so much love and last night’s fight about an ipod charger seemed ripe with irony. On the one hand there may be love but on the other there is utter incompatibility. I should be thankful for life’s way of reminding me of this last simple fact.
My running partner has been sober for two years and he says that when I talk about Ex man, I sound like a junkie. According to him, Ex-man is my bad drug and just like with any drug, I need to realize he is bad for me, do the detox work, continue to avoid him, and do the work to make myself well.
So what to do to make myself well this morning when I’m exhausted from lack of sleep? When I have a couple of hours to put on a smile and work tonight? Yoga and drag queens. Yoga because it reminds me to breathe. Drag queens, I can’t explain so easily but I’ll try: Fabulous drag queens make me happy. I can’t get enough of them: I watch them on Youtube, I go do drag shows whenever I can, I watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Drag queens are subversive, creative, funny, and fabulous. Perhaps I know that if the world can make room for subversive, gender-bending men, that world is expansive enough for me. There is a quote from Proverbs that says,“Your gift will make room for you” and I find this most applicable to the talent of the entertaining drag queen. And maybe it’s just that drag queens are downright fun; they remind me about play. My world needs more fun.
What do you do that has no value except fun? Things like sports can be fun but there are benefits to health and physique. Is there something that you can do that’s sole purpose is for fun? Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “It is a happy talent to know how to play."
We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw
I had a dark night of the soul last night and could not fall asleep until well after four am. Ex-man and I had a stupid fight last night about an ipod charger. He was telling me that the charger our daughter took to his house was “his” charger. We have bought our kids (or they have been given) four ipods over the years and each came with a charger. The details of possession seemed irrelevant to me. The fact that it mattered to him was relevant. It felt to me like he was hoarding. Why the heck is a charger important between friends who have known each other over twenty five years? And what is it with his need to own two of something that would leave me without one? Yes, I could buy another charger, but should I have to? And where are the other two missing ipod chargers?
I couldn’t fall asleep until after four in the morning. I think the contrast of yesterday’s post about there still being so much love and last night’s fight about an ipod charger seemed ripe with irony. On the one hand there may be love but on the other there is utter incompatibility. I should be thankful for life’s way of reminding me of this last simple fact.
My running partner has been sober for two years and he says that when I talk about Ex man, I sound like a junkie. According to him, Ex-man is my bad drug and just like with any drug, I need to realize he is bad for me, do the detox work, continue to avoid him, and do the work to make myself well.
So what to do to make myself well this morning when I’m exhausted from lack of sleep? When I have a couple of hours to put on a smile and work tonight? Yoga and drag queens. Yoga because it reminds me to breathe. Drag queens, I can’t explain so easily but I’ll try: Fabulous drag queens make me happy. I can’t get enough of them: I watch them on Youtube, I go do drag shows whenever I can, I watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Drag queens are subversive, creative, funny, and fabulous. Perhaps I know that if the world can make room for subversive, gender-bending men, that world is expansive enough for me. There is a quote from Proverbs that says,“Your gift will make room for you” and I find this most applicable to the talent of the entertaining drag queen. And maybe it’s just that drag queens are downright fun; they remind me about play. My world needs more fun.
What do you do that has no value except fun? Things like sports can be fun but there are benefits to health and physique. Is there something that you can do that’s sole purpose is for fun? Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “It is a happy talent to know how to play."
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