289 Marbles
Breaking up. It happens kind of suddenly. One minute, you're holding hands walking down the street, and the next minute, you're lying on the floor crying and all the good CDs are missing.
Kennedy Kasares
We had a guest speaker tonight in my Human Sexuality course. He had kind eyes. He was well-spoken. He believed in his work. He made me laugh. I talked to him after class and there was a spark: He was a shaft of light and I thought for the first time, “There may indeed be life after Ex-man.” (Yes, I know, in 298 Marbles)
Then I got home. Ex-man had dropped off the kids and put them to bed. In the process he had decided to go through my CD cabinet and take more CD’s that were “his”. When I called him, I was pissed off. It’s not the CD’s (they can be replaced), it’s not the fact that most of them were “ours”, what bothers me is that Ex-man had promised to call to discuss any further removal of possessions. I felt like I couldn’t trust him as he had broken our agreement and violated my space with the kids. I tried to convey these feelings and he kept saying, “It’s not important,” “Get over it.” The problem was that it was important to me, and it was important enough to him to enter my home to take the CDs. Although I couldn’t see myself doing it, for argument’s sake, I suggested I go to his house to retrieve them when he wasn’t there. He was incensed.
Breaking up. It happens kind of suddenly. One minute, you're holding hands walking down the street, and the next minute, you're lying on the floor crying and all the good CDs are missing.
Kennedy Kasares
We had a guest speaker tonight in my Human Sexuality course. He had kind eyes. He was well-spoken. He believed in his work. He made me laugh. I talked to him after class and there was a spark: He was a shaft of light and I thought for the first time, “There may indeed be life after Ex-man.” (Yes, I know, in 298 Marbles)
Then I got home. Ex-man had dropped off the kids and put them to bed. In the process he had decided to go through my CD cabinet and take more CD’s that were “his”. When I called him, I was pissed off. It’s not the CD’s (they can be replaced), it’s not the fact that most of them were “ours”, what bothers me is that Ex-man had promised to call to discuss any further removal of possessions. I felt like I couldn’t trust him as he had broken our agreement and violated my space with the kids. I tried to convey these feelings and he kept saying, “It’s not important,” “Get over it.” The problem was that it was important to me, and it was important enough to him to enter my home to take the CDs. Although I couldn’t see myself doing it, for argument’s sake, I suggested I go to his house to retrieve them when he wasn’t there. He was incensed.
I wondered, “Was it a coincidence that the very night that I felt the possibility of another attraction, Ex-man did something that put me right back into a conflictual relationship with him?” I don’t know the answer to this but I do find the synchronicity of the two events curious. I also know that people have connections on several levels and even though there is a physical separation between Ex-man and me, there still exists an emotional connection that seems a little more tedious to unravel. What the evening made crystal clear is that my letting go process is not quite complete, despite my wanting it so.
My questions today are, "What would it take for these situations with Ex-man to hold less of a charge?" "Are arguments a way of re-establishing a relationship after a breakup?"
No comments:
Post a Comment