301 Marbles
When I’m dating I look at a guy and wonder, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”
Rita Rudner
It’s been just over two months since Ex-man moved out and the kids started spending half the week with him. At first the house echoed with emptiness and it was challenging to get used to the gaping holes that they left in their wake. Now that a bit of time has passed and my resilient spirit has kicked in a bit, I’m starting to grow accustomed to all the space that has opened up on the weekends.
Kids take up lots of space. I always tell pregnant friends to get ready because when you have children, it’s like you become a stuff magnet. It’s great - everyone passing on their baby clothes, toys, and accoutrements (such as baby swings, bouncers, etc.), but you have to be selective or you start to drown in things. But it’s not just the physical space, but the mental space required to be a parent and now that I’m a tag-team parent, there is way more brain space. It’s not like I’m not a parent when my kids are with Ex-man, it’s just that I know he does an amazing job of parenting them as well. It’s true, we don’t always agree on technique but I know that his intentions are always good when it comes to his kids. This gives me a lot of security and as a writer the extra brain space is a welcome relief.
What I’m noticing is that new characters are starting to take up residence in the sometimes empty rooms of my brain left by my children. It may sound a bit crazy, but I’ve always claimed that writing is just a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. I’m curious to know more about these characters dancing in my head and what stories they will whisper to me in the months to come.
I wouldn’t have written my life to be like this: I wanted a cohesive family but as I learn to let go of what I don’t have control over, I’m able to open to the things that work in ways that maybe I couldn’t have consciously planned.
Are there things in your post breakup life that you can learn to accept and maybe even feel grateful for? Are there new spaces being opened up? As Eckhart Tolle writes, “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
When I’m dating I look at a guy and wonder, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”
Rita Rudner
It’s been just over two months since Ex-man moved out and the kids started spending half the week with him. At first the house echoed with emptiness and it was challenging to get used to the gaping holes that they left in their wake. Now that a bit of time has passed and my resilient spirit has kicked in a bit, I’m starting to grow accustomed to all the space that has opened up on the weekends.
Kids take up lots of space. I always tell pregnant friends to get ready because when you have children, it’s like you become a stuff magnet. It’s great - everyone passing on their baby clothes, toys, and accoutrements (such as baby swings, bouncers, etc.), but you have to be selective or you start to drown in things. But it’s not just the physical space, but the mental space required to be a parent and now that I’m a tag-team parent, there is way more brain space. It’s not like I’m not a parent when my kids are with Ex-man, it’s just that I know he does an amazing job of parenting them as well. It’s true, we don’t always agree on technique but I know that his intentions are always good when it comes to his kids. This gives me a lot of security and as a writer the extra brain space is a welcome relief.
What I’m noticing is that new characters are starting to take up residence in the sometimes empty rooms of my brain left by my children. It may sound a bit crazy, but I’ve always claimed that writing is just a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. I’m curious to know more about these characters dancing in my head and what stories they will whisper to me in the months to come.
I wouldn’t have written my life to be like this: I wanted a cohesive family but as I learn to let go of what I don’t have control over, I’m able to open to the things that work in ways that maybe I couldn’t have consciously planned.
Are there things in your post breakup life that you can learn to accept and maybe even feel grateful for? Are there new spaces being opened up? As Eckhart Tolle writes, “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
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