293 Marbles
Independence is happiness.
Susan B. Anthony
Interdependency follows independence.
Stephen R. Covey
I found a lump in my breast two weeks ago and today I went to the doctor to have it tested. The doctor couldn’t tell whether it was in the breast tissue but she said it is small and very mobile – both good signs. She scheduled me for an ultrasound next week.
I had to ask Ex-man to pick the kids up from school so I could go for the test. He asked why and I told him, “Small lump, no big deal.” I’m not sure why I even told him as it made me feel so vulnerable. In hindsight, I wish I had opted for a bit more of a filter and a lot more opaqueness but I think my psyche still doesn't quite get it that this man knew everything about me up until a few short months ago. It's still playing catch up.
“Good luck next week,” he said. That’s when it hit me: I’m doing this on my own. When I hung up, I had a bit of a cry.
I’m not sure why I’m such an fool. I’m sure I could find a friend to come with me but I know everyone is busy with their own lives and I don’t want to be a drama queen or a hypochondriac. I rationalize that the lump is probably nothing. If the news is bad then I’ll call in the reinforcements. If it’s good, I might have a cocktail and a really good chocolate bar.
Breakups require the reestablishment of independence. What was once interdependence (or co-dependence) now looks more like learning to stand alone again. There can be great freedom in independence including the liberty to create your own unique life. Yet the trick is to balance our independent selves with our interdependent selves. Can you picture a interdependent life for yourself that includes a tribe of family and friends around you that you can lean on in challenging times and celebrate with in happier times? I know I’m trying to create this for me and my family after the musical chairs of the breakup (Marble 336).
Independence is happiness.
Susan B. Anthony
Interdependency follows independence.
Stephen R. Covey
I found a lump in my breast two weeks ago and today I went to the doctor to have it tested. The doctor couldn’t tell whether it was in the breast tissue but she said it is small and very mobile – both good signs. She scheduled me for an ultrasound next week.
I had to ask Ex-man to pick the kids up from school so I could go for the test. He asked why and I told him, “Small lump, no big deal.” I’m not sure why I even told him as it made me feel so vulnerable. In hindsight, I wish I had opted for a bit more of a filter and a lot more opaqueness but I think my psyche still doesn't quite get it that this man knew everything about me up until a few short months ago. It's still playing catch up.
“Good luck next week,” he said. That’s when it hit me: I’m doing this on my own. When I hung up, I had a bit of a cry.
I’m not sure why I’m such an fool. I’m sure I could find a friend to come with me but I know everyone is busy with their own lives and I don’t want to be a drama queen or a hypochondriac. I rationalize that the lump is probably nothing. If the news is bad then I’ll call in the reinforcements. If it’s good, I might have a cocktail and a really good chocolate bar.
Breakups require the reestablishment of independence. What was once interdependence (or co-dependence) now looks more like learning to stand alone again. There can be great freedom in independence including the liberty to create your own unique life. Yet the trick is to balance our independent selves with our interdependent selves. Can you picture a interdependent life for yourself that includes a tribe of family and friends around you that you can lean on in challenging times and celebrate with in happier times? I know I’m trying to create this for me and my family after the musical chairs of the breakup (Marble 336).
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