287 Marbles
When another recognizes you, that recognition draws the dimension of Being more fully into this world through both of you. That is the love that redeems the world.
When another recognizes you, that recognition draws the dimension of Being more fully into this world through both of you. That is the love that redeems the world.
Eckhart Tolle
My daughter asked me last night as I was tucking her in bed, ”How do you know when you’re in love?”
Hmmm, I said, “That’s a tricky question.” I have an interesting point of view about being in love that I tried to explain to her, “Most people say they’re in love when they have a feeling of joy being with another person. They feel really, really happy but I think this is the way we are supposed to be all the time.” I told her that in a perfect world, I think we’re meant to walk “in love” every minute of the day. Our hearts are meant to be open to the world, but they aren’t so we have this little reflection of what being “in love” is. To make matters worse, we project our little reflection on another person so that if they leave, or die, or otherwise vanish from our life, we think that they take our ability to be “in love” with them. When you look at truly great spirits (e.g. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, the Dalai Lama) these people walk the world “in love”. They’re understanding of love isn’t limited to one person, one family, or one nation.
“That’s weird,” my daughter said then she asked me again, “But how do you know when you’re in love?
I answered, “You know you’re in love when your heart grows two sizes, just like the Grinch’s did when he brought back all those toys to Whoville. You know you’re in love when you’re with someone who can make even the rainiest day seem like sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. You know you’re in love when your whole being lights up around another person. When you feel this, know that it isn’t about the other person. It’s about your own sweet heart.” (I don't really expect her to get this as I'm still getting this myself. All I can do is plant seeds)
“Some people say I’m too young to know what love is,” she said.
“I don’t believe that for a minute. You have a heart, just like the Tin Man always did. It’s not like you’re going to grow one over time.”
She smiled at me and closed her eyes.
My daughter asked me last night as I was tucking her in bed, ”How do you know when you’re in love?”
Hmmm, I said, “That’s a tricky question.” I have an interesting point of view about being in love that I tried to explain to her, “Most people say they’re in love when they have a feeling of joy being with another person. They feel really, really happy but I think this is the way we are supposed to be all the time.” I told her that in a perfect world, I think we’re meant to walk “in love” every minute of the day. Our hearts are meant to be open to the world, but they aren’t so we have this little reflection of what being “in love” is. To make matters worse, we project our little reflection on another person so that if they leave, or die, or otherwise vanish from our life, we think that they take our ability to be “in love” with them. When you look at truly great spirits (e.g. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, the Dalai Lama) these people walk the world “in love”. They’re understanding of love isn’t limited to one person, one family, or one nation.
“That’s weird,” my daughter said then she asked me again, “But how do you know when you’re in love?
I answered, “You know you’re in love when your heart grows two sizes, just like the Grinch’s did when he brought back all those toys to Whoville. You know you’re in love when you’re with someone who can make even the rainiest day seem like sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. You know you’re in love when your whole being lights up around another person. When you feel this, know that it isn’t about the other person. It’s about your own sweet heart.” (I don't really expect her to get this as I'm still getting this myself. All I can do is plant seeds)
“Some people say I’m too young to know what love is,” she said.
“I don’t believe that for a minute. You have a heart, just like the Tin Man always did. It’s not like you’re going to grow one over time.”
She smiled at me and closed her eyes.
If the ability to walk in love isn't lost after a breakup then why does my heart feel like a shriveled raisin? I am simply mourning the loss/change of connection to someone I loved. I'm mourning the loss of a dream of a nuclearish family. I'm letting go of all the things I projected into our future. I'm letting go of our long history together (over 1/4 of a century- Yikes!). I'm learning to stay present.
Know too that with time, your heart will plump up and love again. It's the nature of hearts. It's what they do.
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