Leap Year

337.5 Marbles -

Oh God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things that I cannot change
The courage to change the things that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Oh ooh and God, give me the courage to love with an open heart
To love with an open heart, to love with an open heart,
I wanna love with an open heart
Oh ooh oh with an open heart
India.Arie “Intro Loving”

   So it’s five years after the original 365 marble year and this year has an extra leap year marble.  I thought of ignoring that extra darn marble - it was only supposed to be 365 marbles, after all - but that didn’t seem right.  I thought of adding an extra entry at the end of the year, but that didn’t seem right either.  Instead, I’ve decided to write about one of the themes that emerged from that first marble year - serenity - in my layman’s terms - nonreactive calmness - a peace with all that is, even when what “is” appears to be lousy.    
   I realized when I wrote the entry “Songchronicity” (Marble 360) that I omitted the above song by India.Arie that was an integral part of my playlist.  The song, which is obviously inspired by the Serenity Prayer, was part of my morning and my ride into work ritual.  The original prayer was written by Reinhold Niebuhr and the full version asks for the ability to live one day at a time, enjoy one moment at a time, and accept hardship as a pathway to peace.  As the first marble year progressed, I realized that I was working towards embodying the serenity prayer.  Among other things, I was learning to accept the breakup (the thing I could not change) and build a "new normal" for myself and my kids. I was working at changing the things that I could change in my life (back at school, learning to stretch my writing muscles, and then following my guidance on which ideas to pursue).  And always, I ask for the ability to discern the changeable from the fixed. 
   India.Arie’s song continues after the Serenity Prayer ends and asks for “the courage to love with an open heart.”  What I know for sure is that the marbles allowed my raisin of a heart to plump up again so that I was able, when the time was right, to love myself, my children, my friends,  and a lover with more fullness.   
   It has been challenging at times to post some of the entries from early on in the breakup when I was particularly raw.  At times I’ve wanted to go back and shake that other me and say, “Let go already, move on, sayonara” but I needed time and a soft place.  It’s funny that a mound of marbles became my soft place to land.  

Could you spend some time contemplating the fixed, unchangeable aspects of your life?   Ask for the grace to be yielding in these areas.  What are the areas that, through your volition, are more dynamic and changeable?  Be brave enough to do what it takes to change them if they're not working for you.