Les Miserables

345 Marbles
If you’re not aware that what you put out
Is what you get back
That you make the world through the way you act
You can’t harness the awesome power of that fact
Ani DiFranco, "If Yr Not"

    This weekend there was a convention in town and the restaurant where I work was very busy with interesting traveling scientists from around the globe.  When I went for a run yesterday, I took some time to appreciate how enjoyable this weekend was at work and I asked for more of the same for my Friday (which is actually Monday). I wanted the same kind of flow, ease, and connection with my customers but as soon as I asked for it, I knew it wouldn't come in the way that I wanted it to. 
   As expected, the night was busy and I was running around like crazy.  At one point I had an Austrian man (who reminded me of Einstein with his wild hair) turn back two different wines because they weren't dry enough.  After humming and hawing, more than I had time to deal with, he decided on a beer.  Problem solved.  Behind him at the neighboring table there was a couple who were paying their bill.  I brought the Visa machine to the table and left him to enter his codes.  When I returned, it wasn't complete and he said, "I'm not touching that machine." I was a bit flustered and answered that this was the only machine we had to process his card.  He responded again, "I'm not touching that machine."  "Okay," I said, "Perhaps you'd like to pay cash?" He sighed, "I don't have cash."  "All right then, if you want to pay with a card, this is the machine we use."  "You're not listening to me, I'm not touching that machine."  Hmmmm, I thought to myself, what am I not hearing?  "Do you want me to press the buttons?" I asked.  "Well I guess so," he responded, still disgruntled.  So I pressed the buttons until his PIN code and I listened to his vitriolic tirade about having a nice meal and then having to work the cash register after it.  I was way too busy to deal with this man.
   After complaining to the manager about his ruined experience because of the Visa terminal, the man and his wife left (after she gave me the evil eye).  The strange thing is that it had the opposite effect on me. It actually made my night. I was still super busy but I tapped into a well of joy and  happiness that I don't go through life spreading such bad ju ju. I let them go not by returning their anger with anger, but with gratitude for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff.  I was incredibly happy not to be walking in their shoes, seeing the world through their lenses.  Yikes!
   My favorite yoga teacher, Seane Corn, says that often when you find ourselves engaged with people like this, they represent alienated parts of the self so I ask myself, "Where am I angry and stubborn?" I'll admit, I've been angry over this breakup and I've been stubbornly holding onto my shattered dream of a cohesive family unit.  I know that this continues to make it difficult for me to let go and embrace my new life.  So in the end, maybe there is a bit of the angry couple from Table 3 inside of me.  Yikes!

Today, can you observe the energy you bring to the world?  Becoming conscious of our energy is the first step in learning to be responsible for it.