And the Oscar Goes to . . .

339 Marbles
I was blessed by a birth and a death and I guess I just want some say in between. 
Ani DiFranco


    In my place in time and space, we've recently had the Oscars.  The whole pomp and circumstance has gotten me thinking about this production called life.  I’ve acted as producer of my life but I’ve also been writer, director, and casting agent.  This is particularly daunting with reference to an ex, but I cast him as well.  If a marble a day keeps old patterns away, I’m open to the idea that the next person I cast will play a different role. 
    Here’s the thing – the beginning of most relationships is a bit of a smoke and mirrors show.  Most of the time, I’ve ended up projecting a pile of stuff onto my mates as if they were an empty screen.  The screen eventually comes down and this is when the “romantic love” stage moves into the love stage (if you’re lucky).  In return, I’ve taken whatever role they were casting at the time, even if the role at times called for an evil she-devil of a leading lady.  Hey, it kept me working didn’t it?
    Another reason for the marbles is this – I can’t trust myself to stand in integrity in a relationship if someone’s subconscious puts out a casting call for a villainous leading lady.  I know a bit of which I speak.  When I was younger, I cast an ex-husband who had a healthy view of love.  I left him because although my conscious casting agent knew he was a good leading man, my subconscious one didn’t like the way he played the part,"Where's the drama?"  I also believe that Ex-man had some deep rooted issues around women in his life and that I often stepped into his less than optimal casting call. 
   I think my job over the next year is to get my two casting agents on the same page.  The marbles remind me that it’s better to play leading lady in my own movie than to play a bit part in someone else’s.  They also remind me that I have one shot to make this production called my life into an Oscar winning performance. 

Could you take responsibility for the people you have in your life? You are the casting agent.  Could you appreciate the people who play loving, supportive roles? If there are people in roles that you don't like, see if the roles can be rewritten.  If not, consider firing their sorry butts.  You're the producer, aren't you?  
As yogini and writer Sadie Nardini says,"Inviting the wrong person along for the ride can ruin a perfectly good adventure."