If You Wax it, They will Come

25 Marbles 
Keep all your attention in the present moment – refrain from living in the past of worrying about the future. Learn to trust what you cannot see far more than what you can see.
Caroline Myss

    A friend of mine just got a full Brazilian job before going on a date. I consider this a lot of pain for a girl to endure but she told me that it’s like her dating good luck charm. I responded, “If you wax it, they will come?” (Yep, there’s a double entendre there.) 
    What lengths will girls/women/females go to in the name of dating?  It’s been a while, but when I was getting ready for a date I’d do my toenails, style my hair, make sure my fingernails are presentable, shave any unwanted hair away, and wait for inspiration as to which outfit I’d wear. Considering that most men just shower and shave (if you’re lucky), I wonder, why the obsessiveness on the part of women?  
    I’ve come to recognize that the preparation is less for the other person and more for myself. I wouldn’t have people over for dinner without tidying the house, likewise I wouldn’t go on a date without tidying myself. Furthermore, when I date women, I still ready myself in the same manner. It’s a form of self respect.
    I guess it all comes down to intention.  If the intention is to appear perfect to a perspective partner, that may be cited for false advertising.  If it’s like a dating ablution, a ceremonial readying of the self, it becomes part of the excitement of meeting and spending time with another person. That person may be a poor fit, but he/she may also be a potential lover or a even a life’s partner. No pressure.
    Okay, I think there’s a bit of trepidation about entering the dating scene again. There’s not even a full layer of marbles at the bottom of my jar and I’m 24 of them away from going back to New Orleans to visit dude again. The marbles have been awesome but they’ve also been a safeguard against intimacy with anyone other than myself. As a mother there are more considerations when dating and, as dude in New Orleans has shown me, there are those people that may be fine for me but not a match for my family.  As well, the dating scene has changed - the abundance of people dating online has led to the FOMO phenomenon (Fear of Missing Out) in which singles will power through prospective dates because there’s always another warm body (possibly hotter body) available out in cyberspace. Some feel like they're the moth and internet dating is the chandelier, and in Richard Bach's words, "There were lots of pretty choices, but I wasn't quite sure where to fly."
    There have been 341 Marbles since the heartbreak of Ex-man’s moving out. That’s thankfully enough space to know that not all dating leads to a relationship…leads to an end…leads to pain. Yet there’s still a teensy weensy little voice that asks, “Why would you want to subject yourself to that again?” Okay, the peanut gallery adds, “Isn’t being single pretty great? Less headaches? Less heartaches?” Neil Gaiman, head of the peanut gallery writes, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
    So what’s a girl who’s losing her marbles to do? Take each day, marble by marble, remember to breathe.
 
Can you “keep all attention in the present moment”? Can you “trust what you cannot see far more than what you can see”?