Ideal Mate

30 Marbles 
    My marble collection in the jar on my windowsill is depleting, day by day, marble by marble. So after great deliberation, a friend finally convinced me to write down some of the attributes that I’d like to find in an ideal mate.  Her logic is that if you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you know when you’ve found it.  So here goes…

Ideal Mate:
Good with my kids, a contribution to their lives
Fun
Open-minded, open-hearted
Good sharer/generous
Good dancer, musical?
Takes care of body, exercises and balances this with a deeper/spiritual side
Clever, good at verbal sparring
Self-assured yet not cocky
Good with money
Nice to look at – smile in eyes
Good, generous lover that enjoys sex on many levels (not just athletically)
Kindred
Follows dreams/goals
Available i.e. not married/attached
Allows me to follow my guidance, my own path without trying to control me
Loves that I’m a woman
Speaks another language but also speaks my language
Loves travel
Is in same geographic area or is willing to relocate
Non-smoker

    Now that I’ve got this list, I’m not quite sure about it.  It seems a bit pat.  I’d also like to leave some room for life to surprise me with things that I didn’t even know that I wanted or needed.  When I think of any of my life changes like finding a new job or a new home, I remember how I often go by instinct.  When choosing between two employers I have chosen, not because of some list of qualities, but because one felt like it might be a better fit.  And sometimes you decide to date someone and all their amazing attributes unfold over time.  So sure, I’ll have a “list” but I will also leave space for the element of surprise.

What would your ideal mate list look like? Can you have an intention of what you want but leave space for the element of surprise?

PS Notes from five years later - magically my lover and mate has all of the attributes on this list...and more.