Overload

24 Marbles
     There is a Boddhisattva, whose name Avalokitesvara…means: "Listening deeply to the sound of the cries of the world". And listening deeply is the practice of mindfullness. But if you are full of pain, full of anxiety, full of projections, and especially full of prejudices, full of ideas and notions, it may be very difficult for you to practice deep listening. You are too full. And that is why to practice in order for you to have space, to have freedom within, to have some joy within is very important for deep listening. Avalokitesvara… practices deep listening to herself, and to the world, outside. She practices touching with her ears.
Thich Nhat Hanh

    The Christmas season can feel like a month of white water rafting. As my naturopath explains it, “As all of nature goes inward, we start to go out.” Yep, as delightful a season as it is, there is something unnatural about it that leaves me, once I’ve settled into the New Year, feeling overloaded. It’s time to put my paddle and raft aside and start touching with my ears. 
    It starts simply as a sense of malaise that I usually misdiagnose as PHSD (Post holiday season depression). The symptoms range from disinterest in almost everything, a heavy feeling upon waking, and a longing for being anywhere except for where I am.  When I’ve misdiagnosed the malady, I’ve gone into a sense of feeling that there was something wrong with me. It feels like a depressed dissatisfaction and the accompanying mind chatter can go, “You’ve just had an amazing holiday season and you’re still not satisfied?” I can also try to point a finger at elements in my life and judge them as being the reason for my mood. In this process I’m a bit like a dog chasing her tail but when I get tired enough of this, I stop chasing my tail and stay still.  Stillness was all I really wanted.
    I tend to withdraw for a period of time and that extra space allows me to reconnect with myself and refocus my attention inward. I get back to the routines (such as a regular yoga practice) that have been derailed by the holiday season. The good news is that I enjoy this time with myself. The better news is that when I take time with myself I can reenter the world feeling revived. 

Do you know when you're being signaled to take some time with yourself? Can you give yourself permission to take the time you need?