One Marble
Most critical is the resolution of the orphan dilemma, which allows Magicians to trust and submit to a power greater than themselves saying,“Thy will be done.”
Carol S. Pearson “The Hero’s Journey”
I’m on the plane going to New Orleans. The song, “Que Sera Sera” comes on my head- set. My mother used to sing that song to me when I was young and it infuriated me. How ridiculous – asking someone what the future will hold only to be told what will be, will be (over and over again). It’s so passive. What about actively taking things into our own hands?
I’m trying to make peace with “what will be, will be.” I named the first episode of my series after that bloody song but as life takes its inevitable twists and turns, I sometimes wish I’d called the pilot, “My way or the highway.” Yet as one of my great writing teachers noted, “You write what you need to learn.”
I used to have this recurrent dream: I was in the backseat of a car and there was no driver. I had no control of the steering wheel and I was in complete and utter terror. I would try to climb into the front seat and get my hands and legs on the pedals but I was never successful. I’d be left driving in an out-of-control vehicle.
It’s been a while since I’ve had that dream. Now, I picture myself in backseat with my sticky fingers off the steering wheel, sitting back and enjoying the ride. I used to feel that if I didn't control things, things wouldn't work out. Now I attempt to balance action with allowance. I'm working on surrender, and yes, the fact that I'm "working on it" means that I'm not quite there yet.
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I arrive in New Orleans tonight for Mardi Gras. Dude greets me wearing a retro sweater circa The Cosby Show. He takes me to a Southern style all-you-can-eat buffet.
We go to dude’s house and he waits until midnight until my last marble has lapsed. My final marble lands on New Orleans soil. Then, garment by garment, I take off my clothes…
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