Vulnerability

4 Marbles 
I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.
Duke Ellington
   
    These marbles have been a vulnerable pursuit. I’ve written about my failed celibacy attempts, my emotions, my thoughts, and my judgments. I’ve declared myself having figured it all out one marble only to realize two marbles later that I was being a jerk. Bottom line, I’ve been human.
    If you’re not one of the nearly 7.5 million people that have viewed Brené Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability” TEDtalk, do yourself a favor and check it out: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html. Brown relates vulnerability as the ability to take emotional risk, be exposed, and have uncertainty. In her estimation, it is the “the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” She suggests that vulnerability and the willingness to allow ourselves to be seen is the most accurate measurement of courage. She also explains that “you can’t selectively numb emotions” so when you numb the “negative” emotions (like the ones after a breakup) you also numb joy, happiness, and gratitude. The goal is to move through disappointment and approach life as one of the “whole-hearted” - someone who has a strong sense of love and belonging.
    This breakup triggered so many feelings in me: abandonment, anger, failure, not being good enough, the list goes on. But I’ve seen too many people shut down their hearts and their lives after a breakup by: losing weight, gaining weight, smoking more, drinking, and sleeping around, all in an effort to numb the pain. Each day, I’ve taken the energy it would have taken to pout and I've written some marbles (Okay, so I pouted a bit along the way). 
     Our job is to move through, marble by marble, and show up in the world; Our world needs us whole, not perfect, just whole.       

Author Neil Gaiman said, “The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you: Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” What part of yourself are you not sharing with the world? Can you show up in the world wholeheartedly? Do you feel worthy of love and belonging?