Forgiveness

7 Marbles
Forgiving means giving up all hope for a better past.
Jack Kornfield, PhD

    Marble seven.
    Marble seven is letting go of what I thought my life would look like so I can live more fully in the present.
    What would it take for me to have more of Marble Seven? To answer this question, I have to go back to Marble 9. Since writing that marble, I’ve felt a tightness around my heart. Yes, the awareness brought an understanding about a dynamic of our relationship and Ex-man’s need to be viewed as a good guy. Awareness usually brings more lightness and openness to a situation. This awareness did not so I had to ask,”Why?” The answer: Because it was steeped in judgment and resentment (and I was using my awareness to see myself as superior to Ex-man - tsk, tsk).    
    I knew I was getting stuck in this place but I had no idea how to move out of it. Today, I was listening to a Deepak Chopra meditation about forgiveness and these words resounded, “ In truth resentment affects only the one holding on and holding on takes energy and attention. Wouldn’t our time be better spent on joyous living and loving? When our attention is locked up in the past we don’t have the power to change our lives now.”  Could I draw my energy back from the past and from Ex-man and the life that didn’t work for us so that I can live in the present and create a life that I desire?
    Confucius said, “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” It’s the energy and attention that I direct at a situation through remembering it that makes it grow in significance. In that stuck place of judging Ex-man, there is part of me that is looking to right a perceived wrong. Yet while watching an interview with Lance Armstrong recently, I realized that I don’t have to police anything. The natural unfolding of the universe takes care of its own policing, in its own manner. I can get my sticky fingers off the steering wheel. When I do that, I'm one step closer to forgiveness.


Caroline Myss suggests creating “an official ceremony for yourself in which you call your spirit back from your past and release the negative influence of all your wounds.  Whether you prefer a ritual or a private prayer service, enact your message of forgiveness in an ‘official’ way in order to establish a new beginning.” Can you create a ceremony to draw your energy back from the past?