155 Marbles
Don't take anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Miguel Ruiz
My Swiss German friend has been a sweet support through this breakup. Every Friday after work she would walk the three blocks from her work and drop by to visit me. Sometimes she’d have a coffee, sometimes she’d just give me a hug. The visits meant so much to me, especially during that raw phase right after Ex-man moved out.
Today my friend told me that she would be moving to another city with her husband. It’s true that over the past few months her life with her new husband has gone in one direction and my single life with kids has gone in another. In addition, I’ve been working at a job that conflicts with most people’s social schedule - she’s a nine-to-fiver.
I’m happy for her. She’ll be moving to a beautiful city and she’ll be able to afford to buy her own home with her husband. I’m happy for her but sad for me because I’ll miss her. I’m sad and part of me wonders how much more I’m going to have to let go of?
This is my friend that always says “When one door closes, another one opens – but it’s hell in the hallway.” But I’m noticing that my hell in the hallway is largely self-induced, often because of a propensity to take things personally. It’s amazing the things that I can make about me - a friend moving, an ex buying a cabin, a breakup - the list is endless. What would it take for me to move away from taking things personally?
Seeing as I’m not an expert, I’ll have to defer to the expert: Ruiz writes, “It is not important to me what you think about me, and i don't take what you think personally.... I don't have the need to be accepted. I dont have the need to have someone tell me, " Miguel you are great"... What ever you think, whatever you feel is your problem not my problem…Personal importance, or taking things personally, is an expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me!! Nothing people do is because of you!! It’s because of themselves!!”
My Swiss German friend has been a sweet support through this breakup. Every Friday after work she would walk the three blocks from her work and drop by to visit me. Sometimes she’d have a coffee, sometimes she’d just give me a hug. The visits meant so much to me, especially during that raw phase right after Ex-man moved out.
Today my friend told me that she would be moving to another city with her husband. It’s true that over the past few months her life with her new husband has gone in one direction and my single life with kids has gone in another. In addition, I’ve been working at a job that conflicts with most people’s social schedule - she’s a nine-to-fiver.
I’m happy for her. She’ll be moving to a beautiful city and she’ll be able to afford to buy her own home with her husband. I’m happy for her but sad for me because I’ll miss her. I’m sad and part of me wonders how much more I’m going to have to let go of?
This is my friend that always says “When one door closes, another one opens – but it’s hell in the hallway.” But I’m noticing that my hell in the hallway is largely self-induced, often because of a propensity to take things personally. It’s amazing the things that I can make about me - a friend moving, an ex buying a cabin, a breakup - the list is endless. What would it take for me to move away from taking things personally?
Seeing as I’m not an expert, I’ll have to defer to the expert: Ruiz writes, “It is not important to me what you think about me, and i don't take what you think personally.... I don't have the need to be accepted. I dont have the need to have someone tell me, " Miguel you are great"... What ever you think, whatever you feel is your problem not my problem…Personal importance, or taking things personally, is an expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me!! Nothing people do is because of you!! It’s because of themselves!!”
I keep pulling this card lately in the deck of life. How much needless suffering do I incur by taking things personally? How much more freedom would I have if I finally got this awareness and trickled it into my cells?
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