135 Marbles
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare, "Hamlet," Act 1, Scene 3, 78-81
When Polonius sent his son, Laertes, off to study in Paris, he advised him on many things but summed it all up with the above lines. Polonius stressed the importance of being authentic, but can we be authentic without having self knowledge? I don’t think so. The preliminary step in being authentic is to become familiar with who we are as individuals. One of the steps in this process, is what I call, “Knowing what’s in your kitbag.”
Each of us are born with certain characteristics or tendencies that can be used to our advantage or conversely, used to hinder us. These are the equipment we are born with, and just like a sports kitbag, they are the tools that will help us get through life. Most of these tools have a positive side (when they are used for good) and a negative side (when they are used as a hindrance). For example, I’m “sensitive” - a trait that can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, I can immerse myself in a situation and sense the dynamics. This can be great for writing as I am able to gain insights that may elude some. I can be sensitive to the other people’s points of pain and I can be empathetic. Yet on the negative side, I can feel like a sponge, taking on other people’s feelings. In addition, I can become overwhelmed by my own emotions and become self-absorbed (if you’ve been following the marbles, this may not come as a surprise).
Another tool in my kitbag is tenacity - my sometimes unrelenting determination. Whereas this is an essential trait of being a writer (think of the rejection letters - I call response letters), tenacity can be detrimental when not curbed in relationships (think of an annoying Pit Bull, not wanting to unclench from a bone/argument). Yes, this is the trait that allows me to hike to the top of the mountain, run around the whole seawall, take the 365 Marble challenge, yet tenacity also has to be tempered with grace, otherwise I’m nothing but a Pit Bulldozer.
Doing an inventory of your kitbag is not only good for becoming authentically you, it is also great for determining what resources you don’t have that you may require to accomplish your goals/dreams. I’ve mentioned how I used to be extremely shy, unable to carry on a conversation with someone who wasn’t a friend. This inability to make connections with new people was something that stood in my way of living a full life. After years in the restaurant biz, I’ve managed to become comfortable with conversing with strangers and small groups. My goal now is to become comfortable in front of larger groups without breaking out in a scarlet red blush (nothing Toastmasters couldn’t cure). The point here is if something isn’t in your kitbag, you can often go out and get it.
Think of your kitbag as the gifts that the three good fairies gave to Sleeping Beauty at her birth celebration: beauty, the gift of song, and the promise of true love’s kiss. Each gift became both integral to who she was and to how her destiny was shaped. What gifts are in your kitbag?
What shows up when you do an honest inventory of your kitbag? Are there things that you’d like in your kitbag that you could acquire? Are there things in your kitbag that you’re not using in the most positive and effective manner?
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare, "Hamlet," Act 1, Scene 3, 78-81
When Polonius sent his son, Laertes, off to study in Paris, he advised him on many things but summed it all up with the above lines. Polonius stressed the importance of being authentic, but can we be authentic without having self knowledge? I don’t think so. The preliminary step in being authentic is to become familiar with who we are as individuals. One of the steps in this process, is what I call, “Knowing what’s in your kitbag.”
Each of us are born with certain characteristics or tendencies that can be used to our advantage or conversely, used to hinder us. These are the equipment we are born with, and just like a sports kitbag, they are the tools that will help us get through life. Most of these tools have a positive side (when they are used for good) and a negative side (when they are used as a hindrance). For example, I’m “sensitive” - a trait that can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, I can immerse myself in a situation and sense the dynamics. This can be great for writing as I am able to gain insights that may elude some. I can be sensitive to the other people’s points of pain and I can be empathetic. Yet on the negative side, I can feel like a sponge, taking on other people’s feelings. In addition, I can become overwhelmed by my own emotions and become self-absorbed (if you’ve been following the marbles, this may not come as a surprise).
Another tool in my kitbag is tenacity - my sometimes unrelenting determination. Whereas this is an essential trait of being a writer (think of the rejection letters - I call response letters), tenacity can be detrimental when not curbed in relationships (think of an annoying Pit Bull, not wanting to unclench from a bone/argument). Yes, this is the trait that allows me to hike to the top of the mountain, run around the whole seawall, take the 365 Marble challenge, yet tenacity also has to be tempered with grace, otherwise I’m nothing but a Pit Bulldozer.
Doing an inventory of your kitbag is not only good for becoming authentically you, it is also great for determining what resources you don’t have that you may require to accomplish your goals/dreams. I’ve mentioned how I used to be extremely shy, unable to carry on a conversation with someone who wasn’t a friend. This inability to make connections with new people was something that stood in my way of living a full life. After years in the restaurant biz, I’ve managed to become comfortable with conversing with strangers and small groups. My goal now is to become comfortable in front of larger groups without breaking out in a scarlet red blush (nothing Toastmasters couldn’t cure). The point here is if something isn’t in your kitbag, you can often go out and get it.
Think of your kitbag as the gifts that the three good fairies gave to Sleeping Beauty at her birth celebration: beauty, the gift of song, and the promise of true love’s kiss. Each gift became both integral to who she was and to how her destiny was shaped. What gifts are in your kitbag?
What shows up when you do an honest inventory of your kitbag? Are there things that you’d like in your kitbag that you could acquire? Are there things in your kitbag that you’re not using in the most positive and effective manner?
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