239 Marbles
Change in all things is sweet.
Aristotle
Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.
Eckhart Tolle
I am becoming aware of how resistant I can be when it comes to change. What if a breakup is nothing but a change? What if I relinquished the idea that all change is bad? What if this breakup could be looked at as the beginning of a new exciting chapter in my life? In my kids lives?
What would happen if I focused less on the loss? The story goes, along with losing Ex-man I lost the dream of a family but what if the story is based on my myopic vision? Is my family really lost? The answer: no. What if my family hasn’t been broken apart but broken open? What if the breakup has really allowed more space for me? More space for my kids?
I’ve held onto the idea that because there was love (and sexual compatibility) that we should have been able to make it work. We weren’t compatible, it’s true, but we were two decent people so what the heck? What if we were only supposed to enter each other’s lives to give each other the gift of family? What if we were trying to hold something together that wasn’t meant to be permanent? Could that have been part of the frustration? Furthermore, is my attachment to resistance making this breakup more challenging than it needs to be?
I have put a heck of a lot of significance on breaking up. Breakup up as failure. Breakup as loss. Breakup as disappointment. Breakup as rejection. Breakup as letting down my kids. Breakup as financial constriction. That last one is a funny one because on paper, there is one less person to contribute to the family income. But what if Ex-man not being around gives me more freedom to tap into the creativity that will expand my income?
And the bonus question are: Have I been attaching too much significance around a relationship? Can who I am ever be defined in relation to someone else? If a relationship ends, can it ever threaten who I really am? The fact is, the relationship died, but things die all the time. Now what will grow in its place? More of me?
John A. Simone, Sr. noted, “If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry, it’ll change. If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry, it’ll change.” But what if I’ve been categorizing this breakup as a bad situation when it is really neither good nor bad, just change and opportunity? Mr. Simone also said, “The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions.” Could it be that I’m starting to ask the right questions?
Maya Angelou wrote, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t, change your attitude.” Is it time to change your attitude around this breakup?
Change in all things is sweet.
Aristotle
Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.
Eckhart Tolle
I am becoming aware of how resistant I can be when it comes to change. What if a breakup is nothing but a change? What if I relinquished the idea that all change is bad? What if this breakup could be looked at as the beginning of a new exciting chapter in my life? In my kids lives?
What would happen if I focused less on the loss? The story goes, along with losing Ex-man I lost the dream of a family but what if the story is based on my myopic vision? Is my family really lost? The answer: no. What if my family hasn’t been broken apart but broken open? What if the breakup has really allowed more space for me? More space for my kids?
I’ve held onto the idea that because there was love (and sexual compatibility) that we should have been able to make it work. We weren’t compatible, it’s true, but we were two decent people so what the heck? What if we were only supposed to enter each other’s lives to give each other the gift of family? What if we were trying to hold something together that wasn’t meant to be permanent? Could that have been part of the frustration? Furthermore, is my attachment to resistance making this breakup more challenging than it needs to be?
I have put a heck of a lot of significance on breaking up. Breakup up as failure. Breakup as loss. Breakup as disappointment. Breakup as rejection. Breakup as letting down my kids. Breakup as financial constriction. That last one is a funny one because on paper, there is one less person to contribute to the family income. But what if Ex-man not being around gives me more freedom to tap into the creativity that will expand my income?
And the bonus question are: Have I been attaching too much significance around a relationship? Can who I am ever be defined in relation to someone else? If a relationship ends, can it ever threaten who I really am? The fact is, the relationship died, but things die all the time. Now what will grow in its place? More of me?
John A. Simone, Sr. noted, “If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry, it’ll change. If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry, it’ll change.” But what if I’ve been categorizing this breakup as a bad situation when it is really neither good nor bad, just change and opportunity? Mr. Simone also said, “The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions.” Could it be that I’m starting to ask the right questions?
Maya Angelou wrote, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t, change your attitude.” Is it time to change your attitude around this breakup?
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