227 Marbles
Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.
Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.
Eckhart Tolle
Many of the changes that have happened in the last year have been uncomfortable – including my father’s death and Ex-man moving out. It feels like I’ve experienced a lot of loss and it would probably be different if I had chosen the loss, for example, if I had been the one initiating the breakup (but then again, maybe not -besides, some things you just can’t have control over, like someone’s death).
I haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights - my nights have been restless and despite me trying to move on with my life, I have the distinct feeling that I’m clenching onto something - even my jaw is tight and clenched. I know that I’m consciously in the process of letting go of my relationship with Ex-man. It’s happening and I feel way better than I did 138 Marbles ago, but still there’s the clasping and grasping.
Last night I heard a voice in my head when I woke up (yes I know that disembodied voices are thought to be signs of insanity, but this voice was calm and clear and there was nothing crazy about it). It said, “You are spending so much energy on resisting change that you’re leaving little energy for what you’re good at – drawing things in.” Hmmm, I wondered, “What could that mean?” As I tossed and turned back to sleep, I was reminded of a T-shirt I once read, “Even if the voices aren’t real, they have some pretty good ideas.” Could it be that I’m trying to hold on because I don’t want the future to be as challenging as the past year has been? Sure, holding onto the past and present is a futile endeavor but it doesn’t mean that I won’t give it a try.
When I woke up this morning, I thought of Newton’s Third Law – “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If it’s true that I’m spending so much energy by resisting change, how much more force will the universe have to use to send me good things? And why do I assume that all change will be negative? Even magnetically, how could I ever draw good things in if I’ve created a forcefield of resistance to keep them away?
While I don’t know the answers to these questions, what I’m conscious of is how I’ve been unconsciously trying to protect myself by pushing things away. I’m like that kid in PE class who was once hit during dodgeball and now cringes every time a ball comes her way. Why don’t I just reach out my arms and grab the damn ball?
While I still stand by the celibacy goal of not drawing any potential lovers or partners, I am going to try to make a habit of envisioning good things coming my way with my work, finances, and friendships. Admittedly, I have difficulty seeing the future as positive, but that’s a whole other marble.
Victor Hugo wrote, “The future has several names. For the weak, it is impossible, for the fainthearted, it is the unknown, for the thoughtful and valiant, it is ideal.” What would it take for you to let go of the past and let go of any resistance to the present? What would it take for you to view the future as ideal?
Many of the changes that have happened in the last year have been uncomfortable – including my father’s death and Ex-man moving out. It feels like I’ve experienced a lot of loss and it would probably be different if I had chosen the loss, for example, if I had been the one initiating the breakup (but then again, maybe not -besides, some things you just can’t have control over, like someone’s death).
I haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights - my nights have been restless and despite me trying to move on with my life, I have the distinct feeling that I’m clenching onto something - even my jaw is tight and clenched. I know that I’m consciously in the process of letting go of my relationship with Ex-man. It’s happening and I feel way better than I did 138 Marbles ago, but still there’s the clasping and grasping.
Last night I heard a voice in my head when I woke up (yes I know that disembodied voices are thought to be signs of insanity, but this voice was calm and clear and there was nothing crazy about it). It said, “You are spending so much energy on resisting change that you’re leaving little energy for what you’re good at – drawing things in.” Hmmm, I wondered, “What could that mean?” As I tossed and turned back to sleep, I was reminded of a T-shirt I once read, “Even if the voices aren’t real, they have some pretty good ideas.” Could it be that I’m trying to hold on because I don’t want the future to be as challenging as the past year has been? Sure, holding onto the past and present is a futile endeavor but it doesn’t mean that I won’t give it a try.
When I woke up this morning, I thought of Newton’s Third Law – “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If it’s true that I’m spending so much energy by resisting change, how much more force will the universe have to use to send me good things? And why do I assume that all change will be negative? Even magnetically, how could I ever draw good things in if I’ve created a forcefield of resistance to keep them away?
While I don’t know the answers to these questions, what I’m conscious of is how I’ve been unconsciously trying to protect myself by pushing things away. I’m like that kid in PE class who was once hit during dodgeball and now cringes every time a ball comes her way. Why don’t I just reach out my arms and grab the damn ball?
While I still stand by the celibacy goal of not drawing any potential lovers or partners, I am going to try to make a habit of envisioning good things coming my way with my work, finances, and friendships. Admittedly, I have difficulty seeing the future as positive, but that’s a whole other marble.
Victor Hugo wrote, “The future has several names. For the weak, it is impossible, for the fainthearted, it is the unknown, for the thoughtful and valiant, it is ideal.” What would it take for you to let go of the past and let go of any resistance to the present? What would it take for you to view the future as ideal?
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