218 Marbles
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C.S. Lewis
Like many functioning people walking this planet, I sometimes recognize that I have an inferiority complex. And like most people, you wouldn’t notice it to look at me. But I can feel it and sense it when I brush up against situations in which I contract myself like when I go to a fancy spa or hotel and I somehow feel like an impostor.
The stories that feed this inferiority complex are ones like this (buckle up, this is going to be annoying)… When I was little and I wanted a new bike for Christmas. I pictured a purple and pink bike but I got an ugly brown, used, hand-painted one. I got teased when I rode it to school and I was embarrassed. . . Seriously? Is that the best I can come up with? Why am I not recalling the stories about when I got exactly what I wanted? And what do any of these stories have to do with who I am? Did I actually think that when I got what I wanted it proved that I was worthy and when I didn’t, it proved I was somehow unworthy? (That’s putting a lot of weight on situations outside of myself.) Besides, I’m sure I’m not the only one that gets tired when even animated cartoons resort to childhood tales of woe to explain the faults of the bad guy. Which stories do we choose to steep in and how long do we have to steep in our stories?
Recently I heard a woman talking about being invested in stories. Her point of view was the purpose of stories is to expand awareness. She suggested a few questions when you find yourself stuck in stories, “If you weren’t telling the story, what would you be aware of?” In the example above, I’d be aware that I was disappointed to not get what I wanted and somehow I translated that disappointment to mean something about me. In addition, my embarrassment indicated that I bought into the notion that if you didn’t have money, you were somehow inferior to those who did have money (I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this one). Another excellent question, “If you extracted all the facts from the story, could you use the facts to tell another story?” Hmmm, I’ll have to remember that one but again, in my example I could tell the story of how my parents managed to get me a bike that needed some work and my Dad took the time to paint it (to him, the importance of color wouldn’t even be on his radar). The present was a gift of love and had nothing to do with who I was or what I deserved as a daughter. As a parent, I completely get this.
Here’s the rub of being a person born into sensitive skin - often we take the events that happen and take them personally when there is really nothing personal about them. I think it’s time to hatch through all the broken pieces of shell and learn to fly.
Albert Einstein wrote, “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Are you willing to let go of the idea of superiority and inferiority?
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C.S. Lewis
Like many functioning people walking this planet, I sometimes recognize that I have an inferiority complex. And like most people, you wouldn’t notice it to look at me. But I can feel it and sense it when I brush up against situations in which I contract myself like when I go to a fancy spa or hotel and I somehow feel like an impostor.
The stories that feed this inferiority complex are ones like this (buckle up, this is going to be annoying)… When I was little and I wanted a new bike for Christmas. I pictured a purple and pink bike but I got an ugly brown, used, hand-painted one. I got teased when I rode it to school and I was embarrassed. . . Seriously? Is that the best I can come up with? Why am I not recalling the stories about when I got exactly what I wanted? And what do any of these stories have to do with who I am? Did I actually think that when I got what I wanted it proved that I was worthy and when I didn’t, it proved I was somehow unworthy? (That’s putting a lot of weight on situations outside of myself.) Besides, I’m sure I’m not the only one that gets tired when even animated cartoons resort to childhood tales of woe to explain the faults of the bad guy. Which stories do we choose to steep in and how long do we have to steep in our stories?
Recently I heard a woman talking about being invested in stories. Her point of view was the purpose of stories is to expand awareness. She suggested a few questions when you find yourself stuck in stories, “If you weren’t telling the story, what would you be aware of?” In the example above, I’d be aware that I was disappointed to not get what I wanted and somehow I translated that disappointment to mean something about me. In addition, my embarrassment indicated that I bought into the notion that if you didn’t have money, you were somehow inferior to those who did have money (I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this one). Another excellent question, “If you extracted all the facts from the story, could you use the facts to tell another story?” Hmmm, I’ll have to remember that one but again, in my example I could tell the story of how my parents managed to get me a bike that needed some work and my Dad took the time to paint it (to him, the importance of color wouldn’t even be on his radar). The present was a gift of love and had nothing to do with who I was or what I deserved as a daughter. As a parent, I completely get this.
Here’s the rub of being a person born into sensitive skin - often we take the events that happen and take them personally when there is really nothing personal about them. I think it’s time to hatch through all the broken pieces of shell and learn to fly.
Albert Einstein wrote, “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Are you willing to let go of the idea of superiority and inferiority?
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