232 Marbles
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.
Albert Einstein, "Relativity: The Special and the General Theory"
It’s funny how a quick phone call to Ex-man to discuss a couple of issues with the kids can end up making me feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. (Yes, I normally would text or email him to avoid such opportunities but his phone screen is broken and he can’t retrieve either.)
He’s going out tonight to a festival film about one of the families we knew in high school. The family had numerous children but the daughter was in my all-girl’s school and the son was in Ex-man’s boy’s school. The two siblings were both in our grade, and we formed a group of six friends who spent full summers together at their family’s spacious home, swimming in their pool and playing in their games’ room. The girl was one of my best friends during high school and she will be there tonight and it would have been great to see her after so many years. It would have been a nice gesture for him to give me the heads up about the film so that I’d have the opportunity to see it while it’s playing. I had expectations about how Ex-man should have behaved (never a good place to find myself post breakup). Bottom line - I felt cut off from my past/our shared past.
After I thought about it, I phoned Ex-man back and left him a message, “Despite us being exes, that family is as much of my history as it is yours and it would have been a nice gesture for you to tell me about the film.” When I hung up, I felt okay about expressing myself but knew that I was asking the impossible: Ex-man never understood me when we were together, how could I expect him to understand me now that we’re apart?
When I got quieter, I knew that no one could cut me out of my history. More importantly, I have my present and my future and from this place of certainty, I can release the need to cling to the past.
How much do you cling to the past? What would it take for you to release it? In doing so, how much energy would be freed for you to be more fully in the present?
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.
Albert Einstein, "Relativity: The Special and the General Theory"
It’s funny how a quick phone call to Ex-man to discuss a couple of issues with the kids can end up making me feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. (Yes, I normally would text or email him to avoid such opportunities but his phone screen is broken and he can’t retrieve either.)
He’s going out tonight to a festival film about one of the families we knew in high school. The family had numerous children but the daughter was in my all-girl’s school and the son was in Ex-man’s boy’s school. The two siblings were both in our grade, and we formed a group of six friends who spent full summers together at their family’s spacious home, swimming in their pool and playing in their games’ room. The girl was one of my best friends during high school and she will be there tonight and it would have been great to see her after so many years. It would have been a nice gesture for him to give me the heads up about the film so that I’d have the opportunity to see it while it’s playing. I had expectations about how Ex-man should have behaved (never a good place to find myself post breakup). Bottom line - I felt cut off from my past/our shared past.
After I thought about it, I phoned Ex-man back and left him a message, “Despite us being exes, that family is as much of my history as it is yours and it would have been a nice gesture for you to tell me about the film.” When I hung up, I felt okay about expressing myself but knew that I was asking the impossible: Ex-man never understood me when we were together, how could I expect him to understand me now that we’re apart?
When I got quieter, I knew that no one could cut me out of my history. More importantly, I have my present and my future and from this place of certainty, I can release the need to cling to the past.
How much do you cling to the past? What would it take for you to release it? In doing so, how much energy would be freed for you to be more fully in the present?
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