225 Marbles
Today Ex-man came over and helped clear some of his stuff from my garage. There was a 30-year-old electronic piano, old shelves, landscaping equipment, and a wide assortment of trash. What I notice about Ex-man is he has a difficult time letting go of things, even if he no longer has any use for them. What I notice about myself is that I have a difficult time letting go of people, even if they are not good for me.
I notice myself performing the tightrope act of maintaining balance along the tensioned wire of our breakup. There’s still an assortment of his belongings in the garage with some in the rafters. On the one hand, a cooperative stance keeps the peace as we still regularly deal with each other in regards to our children. On the other hand, I want him to deal with his stuff and not use me as a storage locker. The items in the rafters, I don’t mind so much as I don’t have to maneuver around them. The items on the ground I’ve asked him to take to his house after all, I wouldn’t expect him to keep my belongings at his house nor would he want to.
It was his choice to set me free and now he must tend to the physical things that still tie us together. It’s not vindictiveness, it’s clarity. Can you hear the faint sound of my foot coming down?
The phrase, “Choose your battles” can be used ad nauseam in the post breakup landscape, especially when dealing with shared children. Yet, it doesn’t have to be a minefield. Which issues can you let go of? Which issues are important to you? If you fast forward a year into the future, will those “important” issues be equally as weighted?
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