219 Marbles
And will I tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.
Stephen King, "The Dark Tower"
When I look around at my family, I see mental illness, estranged relationships, anger, resentment, disappointment, and divorce. I’ve seen too many happily-ever-after weddings end up in a lawyer’s office (including mine). I’ve witnessed too many marriages that should have ended, stumble along till-death-do-they-part when an earlier parting could have meant more life. I don't see one example of someone living their dream life filled with love, creativity, and abundance. Maybe I should appreciate that my family has taught me about drama. As Bugs Bunny said, “Well what did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?” My family - the opera.
I want to shift this legacy in my life. I’m aware of an unspoken loyalty to my family yet that allegiance has come at too great a cost to my personal happiness. Could I be caught in family patterns because of a misunderstanding of what it means to be loyal to family? What about loyalty to myself? I want my own children to look at me as an example of how to live, not an example of how not to live.
Last night my friend was over for dinner and while the kids were doing the dishes, I told him about my uncle who was an alcoholic for years. When my cousins were young, my aunt was constantly dealing with him going to bars and getting loaded. His life was in turmoil and he literally lost the family farm. But then he stopped drinking and his life turned around. He and my aunt’s relationship improved dramatically. When their kids grew up, my aunt and uncle were so cute – they would tour around the country on their motorcycles. I was telling this story when all of a sudden I realized – my uncle has a happy ending.
Perhaps I’m in no position to comment on the outcome of anyone else’s life but my own. The life I’m living now doesn’t exactly feel like a happy ending – I’m juggling school, I’m single with three kids to support, I pay our bills by serving tables at a restaurant. Yet when I was dusting the arm of a chair the other day, the realization came to me, “This is the beginning of the happy beginning.”
Are you willing to let go of all the stories about broken pieces to make way for new beginnings?
And will I tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.
Stephen King, "The Dark Tower"
When I look around at my family, I see mental illness, estranged relationships, anger, resentment, disappointment, and divorce. I’ve seen too many happily-ever-after weddings end up in a lawyer’s office (including mine). I’ve witnessed too many marriages that should have ended, stumble along till-death-do-they-part when an earlier parting could have meant more life. I don't see one example of someone living their dream life filled with love, creativity, and abundance. Maybe I should appreciate that my family has taught me about drama. As Bugs Bunny said, “Well what did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?” My family - the opera.
I want to shift this legacy in my life. I’m aware of an unspoken loyalty to my family yet that allegiance has come at too great a cost to my personal happiness. Could I be caught in family patterns because of a misunderstanding of what it means to be loyal to family? What about loyalty to myself? I want my own children to look at me as an example of how to live, not an example of how not to live.
Last night my friend was over for dinner and while the kids were doing the dishes, I told him about my uncle who was an alcoholic for years. When my cousins were young, my aunt was constantly dealing with him going to bars and getting loaded. His life was in turmoil and he literally lost the family farm. But then he stopped drinking and his life turned around. He and my aunt’s relationship improved dramatically. When their kids grew up, my aunt and uncle were so cute – they would tour around the country on their motorcycles. I was telling this story when all of a sudden I realized – my uncle has a happy ending.
Perhaps I’m in no position to comment on the outcome of anyone else’s life but my own. The life I’m living now doesn’t exactly feel like a happy ending – I’m juggling school, I’m single with three kids to support, I pay our bills by serving tables at a restaurant. Yet when I was dusting the arm of a chair the other day, the realization came to me, “This is the beginning of the happy beginning.”
Are you willing to let go of all the stories about broken pieces to make way for new beginnings?
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