119 Marbles
It may be years until the day, my dreams will match up with my pay…Make a home from a rented house, and we’ll collect the moments one by one, I guess that’s how the future’s done.
Feist, “Mushaboom” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYF0qU5WSew
It may be years until the day, my dreams will match up with my pay…Make a home from a rented house, and we’ll collect the moments one by one, I guess that’s how the future’s done.
Feist, “Mushaboom” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYF0qU5WSew
A woman I know has a house in the neighborhood where I live and as I walked by her house today, I looked at the house and felt a bit covetous. It’s a nice house with a landscaped garden - she has a suite that she rents out in the garage and a suite downstairs that helps her pay the mortgage. To top it off, an old ex (the father of one of her kids) helped her with the downpayment so she could afford the house.
It’s not like I don’t love the house where I live. My landlords are great and they rent the house to me at a price well below market value (the city where I live has notoriously high real estate prices - but it’s all relative - nothing like NYC). I have made a great home here for my kids but ultimately I’d like to buy a house. I’d like to make the decisions about wherher or not we can have pets. I’d like to know that the garden I plant will be mine to enjoy for as long as I decide to live in our house. I’d like to know that the future of our home isn’t dependent on whether my landlords decide to sell the house or whether they decide to put some family members in it. I want a home of our own.
As soon as I started feeling envious of the house owned by the single mother that I knew, a clear voice in my head answered, “Until the time is right, a house is nothing but a noose around your neck.” I know this to be true. I know that I am not in the position to own. I’m not in the position to apply for a mortgage and be accepted. I may be in the position to buy a condo in the suburbs, but I am a city girl with ties to family, schools, and friends in the city. I like to be central and I hate commuting. I’ll continue to work towards having the house of my dreams by following my passion but in the meantime I'll be financially responsible and live the truth of what it means to be me right now.
Is the energy of envy something that can shine a light on something you don’t have that would contribute to your life? Can you avoid getting stuck in jealousy and just ask what the feeling is trying to show you?
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