114 Marbles
Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
Brené Brown
Parapraxis, aka a Freudian slip, is an error in speech often occurring because of some unconscious desire or conflict. The worst place to have this happen is with an ex, and that’s exactly where I slipped up yesterday. Ugh!
I interrupt this blog to relate a riddle of a costume that I’ve used a couple of years (Halloween is close in my zone in time). I’ve taken a black slinky slip and attached photos of Sigmund on the back and the front and of course the infamous cigar (“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”). I’ve donned black fishnets and red lipstick, high heels and curly locks then I’ve enjoyed walking around the event to see which guests could recall Psych 101 and realize that I was a walking, talking (and dancing) Freudian Slip.
Ugh! Back to real life and the embarrassment of yesterday’s run-in with Ex-man. Our son’s parent-teacher conference was yesterday and afterward as he was checking out the book fair, I thought it a good time to mention to Ex-man that our daughter needed some new clothing (we share expenses). He argued the point, saying that she had lots of clothes (most of which she’d grown out of). As we were discussing back and forth, at one point I said “Hon-.” I caught myself and didn’t finish the last syllable but I could tell by the slight smirk on his face that he caught my slip as well.
It must have been something about the arguing, the constant “no” in his universe that took me right back into that dynamic that I lived in for over twelve years. Psychoanaly-tically, there is no unconscious desire to go back into that relationship with him. As the marbles have ticked by, I’ve enjoyed where I am, more and more and from a distance I can see that the relationship was not a good place for me. What bothered me was his smug your-slip-is-showing smile. I’m sure in his mind my aborted honey was proof of my repressed wish to be with him. Ugh! But Freudian slips are always awkward, unless they’re of the Halloween variety.
Social Work guru Brené Brown wrote, “You can’t dress rehearse the bad moments.” Do you ever have those embarrassing moments with your ex? Can you let go of what your ex thinks of you in lieu of what you know about yourself?
Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
Brené Brown
Parapraxis, aka a Freudian slip, is an error in speech often occurring because of some unconscious desire or conflict. The worst place to have this happen is with an ex, and that’s exactly where I slipped up yesterday. Ugh!
I interrupt this blog to relate a riddle of a costume that I’ve used a couple of years (Halloween is close in my zone in time). I’ve taken a black slinky slip and attached photos of Sigmund on the back and the front and of course the infamous cigar (“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”). I’ve donned black fishnets and red lipstick, high heels and curly locks then I’ve enjoyed walking around the event to see which guests could recall Psych 101 and realize that I was a walking, talking (and dancing) Freudian Slip.
Ugh! Back to real life and the embarrassment of yesterday’s run-in with Ex-man. Our son’s parent-teacher conference was yesterday and afterward as he was checking out the book fair, I thought it a good time to mention to Ex-man that our daughter needed some new clothing (we share expenses). He argued the point, saying that she had lots of clothes (most of which she’d grown out of). As we were discussing back and forth, at one point I said “Hon-.” I caught myself and didn’t finish the last syllable but I could tell by the slight smirk on his face that he caught my slip as well.
It must have been something about the arguing, the constant “no” in his universe that took me right back into that dynamic that I lived in for over twelve years. Psychoanaly-tically, there is no unconscious desire to go back into that relationship with him. As the marbles have ticked by, I’ve enjoyed where I am, more and more and from a distance I can see that the relationship was not a good place for me. What bothered me was his smug your-slip-is-showing smile. I’m sure in his mind my aborted honey was proof of my repressed wish to be with him. Ugh! But Freudian slips are always awkward, unless they’re of the Halloween variety.
Social Work guru Brené Brown wrote, “You can’t dress rehearse the bad moments.” Do you ever have those embarrassing moments with your ex? Can you let go of what your ex thinks of you in lieu of what you know about yourself?
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