118 Marbles
It’s Canadian Thanksgiving weekend and this particular holiday packs a bit of punch. Here’s the story…it was on Thanksgiving day that Ex-man first broke up with me when I was eighteen. He called me at work to ask if he could pick me up so we could have a talk. That whole day my stomach was clenched, preparing for something I feared. I thought things between us were going well despite us being on separate career paths: He went straight to work; I went to university. To me these were trivial discrepancies. To him they were not.
Ex-man picked me up in his car and we went for a drive down by the beach. He parked the car and told me we were done. He said we were going separate ways - he “needed to put everything into his work,” yet within a couple of months, he would come by my work to show me a ring that he had bought for his new girlfriend.
My first heartbreak was on that Thanksgiving afternoon. Ex-man drove me home to a house filled with my family, raucous nieces and nephews. I went to my room and cried and my sister came in and told me that “The first cut is the deepest.” At the time it wasn’t comforting to think that there would be other cuts in the future.
Get over it, right? But how? What could help me get over the significance I place on this holiday? I was invited to have Thanksgiving with Ex-man and his family, but would that be the best place for me? It doesn’t feel right, but what would I like in its place? What would be good for my family?
The answer came to me earlier this week: I would have a family brunch with my kids and then go to work as usual so my kids could have dinner with Ex-man’s family.
I woke up yesterday morning before our brunch with gratitude in my heart. I was thankful that my kids were coming to brunch. I was thankful for our health. I was thankful for good friends. I was thankful for the food that I prepared including my infamous cranberry and white chocolate scones. We had a pleasant and peaceful brunch. Later I helped my daughter with her homework and I went to work.
As I tucked myself in bed last night I felt gratitude, “Life is good.”
In the post-breakup landscape, traditions (such as holidays) are usually altered. What would help you move beyond the stories and significance of the holidays to be totally present in the now? Can you take each holiday and decide what the best new tradition is for yourself and your family?
It’s Canadian Thanksgiving weekend and this particular holiday packs a bit of punch. Here’s the story…it was on Thanksgiving day that Ex-man first broke up with me when I was eighteen. He called me at work to ask if he could pick me up so we could have a talk. That whole day my stomach was clenched, preparing for something I feared. I thought things between us were going well despite us being on separate career paths: He went straight to work; I went to university. To me these were trivial discrepancies. To him they were not.
Ex-man picked me up in his car and we went for a drive down by the beach. He parked the car and told me we were done. He said we were going separate ways - he “needed to put everything into his work,” yet within a couple of months, he would come by my work to show me a ring that he had bought for his new girlfriend.
My first heartbreak was on that Thanksgiving afternoon. Ex-man drove me home to a house filled with my family, raucous nieces and nephews. I went to my room and cried and my sister came in and told me that “The first cut is the deepest.” At the time it wasn’t comforting to think that there would be other cuts in the future.
Get over it, right? But how? What could help me get over the significance I place on this holiday? I was invited to have Thanksgiving with Ex-man and his family, but would that be the best place for me? It doesn’t feel right, but what would I like in its place? What would be good for my family?
The answer came to me earlier this week: I would have a family brunch with my kids and then go to work as usual so my kids could have dinner with Ex-man’s family.
I woke up yesterday morning before our brunch with gratitude in my heart. I was thankful that my kids were coming to brunch. I was thankful for our health. I was thankful for good friends. I was thankful for the food that I prepared including my infamous cranberry and white chocolate scones. We had a pleasant and peaceful brunch. Later I helped my daughter with her homework and I went to work.
As I tucked myself in bed last night I felt gratitude, “Life is good.”
In the post-breakup landscape, traditions (such as holidays) are usually altered. What would help you move beyond the stories and significance of the holidays to be totally present in the now? Can you take each holiday and decide what the best new tradition is for yourself and your family?
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