111 Marbles
I’m about fed up with my subconscious mind right now. Three marbles ago it was that embarrassing Freudian Slip, last night it was another annoying dream featuring Ex-man. Really, Subconscious? Don’t you know I’m in the rebuilding stage where I’m supposed to have let go of Ex-man and our relationship? Maybe I shouldn’t completely blame my subconscious. If my subconscious mind and my conscious mind were to have a baby, it would be my dreams. Okay, so maybe I can try to understand it…
It was my son’s birthday and I had to spend the afternoon with Ex-man yesterday (the time spent with Ex-man generally supplies fodder for my subconscious mind to gnaw on for days). In my dream, Ex-man was taking down a telephone pole in my neighborhood, but as dream neighborhoods go, it was a mixture of my present neighborhood/home and my childhood home. I saw the height of the pole he was cutting down and I realized that it was going to damage the neighbors’ yards. I tried to tell him but he ignored me. When the pole came down, it smacked into a small apartment building, causing some broken windows and roof problems. I felt responsible for his actions and embarrassed that the pole had smacked into other’s property. I went to go make my apologies but in my dream, there was a clarity that it was up to him to take responsibility for his actions. I was no longer responsible for him (nor was I ever responsible for him, but that’s another marble).
In his book, Mind Power in the 21st Century, John Kehoe explains,“Our dreams show us where we are wrong and where we are unadapted, bringing to our attention the root cause of inner disharmony or emotional distress…Dreams are always about you and your circumstances - where you are stuck, what you’re avoiding, what you’re missing, what you’re ignoring, where you need to go.” So where am I stuck with Ex-man? What I’m aware of is that lately my daughter has been talking to me about some of the areas where she gets frustrated and stuck with her Dad (aka Ex-man). I know those areas well because, not coincidentally, they were some of the areas that created disharmony in my relationship with Ex-man. When I saw Ex-man during our son’s birthday, I was reminded about those points of conflict and I felt guilty that my daughter had inherited similar challenges. Yet the dream showed me that I am free to let him have his independent relationships with our children, let him make his own choices regardless of whether I see him damaging the “hood” in the process. The most important thing that I know is that my children are safe with him and are loved by him and even if I don’t agree with his choices, there is no significant structural damage being done (and I would surely have my own broken windows to tend to).
Perhaps there is some significance that the pole Ex-man was falling was a telephone pole, a symbol of communication from my pre-cellphone childhood. A Freudian therapist would probably say the pole was phallic. What I find most interesting is that this morning when I went to drop my kids off at school, a crew was replacing the old telephone pole that was behind my house - not the other neighborhood poles - my pole. I stood for a moment and watched them take the old pole down in the safest possible manner and I easily recalled my dream. Then I had a strange moment of wonder… how fine the line between dream and reality.
Can you allow your dreams to show you where you are stuck or where you need to go? Can you allow your ex(es) to enter your dreams until they have nothing more to reveal to you?
I’m about fed up with my subconscious mind right now. Three marbles ago it was that embarrassing Freudian Slip, last night it was another annoying dream featuring Ex-man. Really, Subconscious? Don’t you know I’m in the rebuilding stage where I’m supposed to have let go of Ex-man and our relationship? Maybe I shouldn’t completely blame my subconscious. If my subconscious mind and my conscious mind were to have a baby, it would be my dreams. Okay, so maybe I can try to understand it…
It was my son’s birthday and I had to spend the afternoon with Ex-man yesterday (the time spent with Ex-man generally supplies fodder for my subconscious mind to gnaw on for days). In my dream, Ex-man was taking down a telephone pole in my neighborhood, but as dream neighborhoods go, it was a mixture of my present neighborhood/home and my childhood home. I saw the height of the pole he was cutting down and I realized that it was going to damage the neighbors’ yards. I tried to tell him but he ignored me. When the pole came down, it smacked into a small apartment building, causing some broken windows and roof problems. I felt responsible for his actions and embarrassed that the pole had smacked into other’s property. I went to go make my apologies but in my dream, there was a clarity that it was up to him to take responsibility for his actions. I was no longer responsible for him (nor was I ever responsible for him, but that’s another marble).
In his book, Mind Power in the 21st Century, John Kehoe explains,“Our dreams show us where we are wrong and where we are unadapted, bringing to our attention the root cause of inner disharmony or emotional distress…Dreams are always about you and your circumstances - where you are stuck, what you’re avoiding, what you’re missing, what you’re ignoring, where you need to go.” So where am I stuck with Ex-man? What I’m aware of is that lately my daughter has been talking to me about some of the areas where she gets frustrated and stuck with her Dad (aka Ex-man). I know those areas well because, not coincidentally, they were some of the areas that created disharmony in my relationship with Ex-man. When I saw Ex-man during our son’s birthday, I was reminded about those points of conflict and I felt guilty that my daughter had inherited similar challenges. Yet the dream showed me that I am free to let him have his independent relationships with our children, let him make his own choices regardless of whether I see him damaging the “hood” in the process. The most important thing that I know is that my children are safe with him and are loved by him and even if I don’t agree with his choices, there is no significant structural damage being done (and I would surely have my own broken windows to tend to).
Perhaps there is some significance that the pole Ex-man was falling was a telephone pole, a symbol of communication from my pre-cellphone childhood. A Freudian therapist would probably say the pole was phallic. What I find most interesting is that this morning when I went to drop my kids off at school, a crew was replacing the old telephone pole that was behind my house - not the other neighborhood poles - my pole. I stood for a moment and watched them take the old pole down in the safest possible manner and I easily recalled my dream. Then I had a strange moment of wonder… how fine the line between dream and reality.
Can you allow your dreams to show you where you are stuck or where you need to go? Can you allow your ex(es) to enter your dreams until they have nothing more to reveal to you?
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