202 Marbles
I had a dream last night that the fence between my neighbour’s house and my house was being taken down by their large St. Bernard. I watched the dog destroy the fence and make his way into my yard, digging up the grass and doing his business. I got mad and I stormed over into the neighbor’s so he could clear the dog from the yard. I tried to get the neighbour’s attention but he was riding his bicycle around and around in circles. When I finally got his attention and showed him what his dog had done to the yard, he shrugged his shoulders and said “So what?” and continued riding around in his circles.
At first I said, “Okay, if that’s what you want to do, my kids will start playing in your yard.” I went to tell the kids to go play in the neighbor’s but decided to work on getting the St. Bernard out of my yard. It took a lot of effort to get the beast back on the other side of the fence and then to secure the damaged fence, but when I did, I felt proud of myself.
When I woke up, I felt good about asking Ex-man to come get what he left with me. I need to be more clear about what’s mine and what’s not. We are all psychically connected and even after the physical separation of a breakup, there is usually a residue of emotional/psychic separation that has to be made. The stuff in the garage is just a physical representation of the garbage that can be left with me if I’m not aware of what belongs to me and what doesn’t. I’m trying to return to sender all the stuff that I was “kind enough” to hold onto but that never belonged to me in the first place. When I ask myself if this really needs to be done I remember a couple that I know who had been divorced for years - the man a drinker, the woman a teetotaller. The man died of liver cancer and within six months, the woman died of liver failure. Coincidence? Maybe, or maybe they never quite completely divorced themselves from each other.
The other awareness that I got from my dream was how I often have used anger as a way to clear people from my space when I’m feeling pressed upon. A good little temper tantrum can do wonders to clear space that has been infringed on. My question now is, what would it take for me to find another way to be 100% me?
What would it take for you to divorce yourself from your X on all levels? Do you want to? Would an energetic divorce give you more space to be 100% you?
At first I said, “Okay, if that’s what you want to do, my kids will start playing in your yard.” I went to tell the kids to go play in the neighbor’s but decided to work on getting the St. Bernard out of my yard. It took a lot of effort to get the beast back on the other side of the fence and then to secure the damaged fence, but when I did, I felt proud of myself.
When I woke up, I felt good about asking Ex-man to come get what he left with me. I need to be more clear about what’s mine and what’s not. We are all psychically connected and even after the physical separation of a breakup, there is usually a residue of emotional/psychic separation that has to be made. The stuff in the garage is just a physical representation of the garbage that can be left with me if I’m not aware of what belongs to me and what doesn’t. I’m trying to return to sender all the stuff that I was “kind enough” to hold onto but that never belonged to me in the first place. When I ask myself if this really needs to be done I remember a couple that I know who had been divorced for years - the man a drinker, the woman a teetotaller. The man died of liver cancer and within six months, the woman died of liver failure. Coincidence? Maybe, or maybe they never quite completely divorced themselves from each other.
The other awareness that I got from my dream was how I often have used anger as a way to clear people from my space when I’m feeling pressed upon. A good little temper tantrum can do wonders to clear space that has been infringed on. My question now is, what would it take for me to find another way to be 100% me?
What would it take for you to divorce yourself from your X on all levels? Do you want to? Would an energetic divorce give you more space to be 100% you?
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