House of Mirrors

196 Marbles
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”

    I’ve been feeling a lot of self-doubt over the past few days.  The variety that looks at the balance sheet of my life and goes, “How exactly did I manage to get here?” And more importantly, “Is this even where I’m supposed to be?”  I am tired of having to think about every extra expense, not knowing for sure if it’s going to be a money-making night at work.  My life looks so different from my cohorts lives that are mainly married, living in their own homes, working in a career. 
I keep reminding myself of an artist who I heard being interviewed several years ago after she won an award late in her life. She called herself a late-bloomer and said,”I had to learn not to look at my friend’s lives and compare where they were with where I was.”  When she said those words, I knew that they were true for me.  I knew that I could only ever live my own life and follow my own passion, and that’s what I have been doing. 
I was given a fitting metaphor when I went to fair this afternoon with my son and his friend.  When we came up to the House of Mirrors, they both wanted to go in, but they didn’t want to go into the maze alone.  I told them what I had learned about these ill-maintained fun houses, “If you get lost, look down at the ground.  The way out will be the floor with the worn paint.”  They still wanted me to join them and sure enough, the path out was easy if we looked down at the well-trodden floor. 
    But what about those who take the roads less trodden? I sometimes wish that I had wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer or anything with a solid career path.  I’m goal oriented and I like easy-to-read street signs along the way.  But then I remember the truth of Robert Frost’s words and I know that I am on the path of my choosing. 

Are you on the path of your choosing?  If not, what would it take to get you onto that path? 

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