201 Marbles
They've got a wall in China
It's a thousand miles long
To keep out the foreigners they made it strong
And I've got a wall around me
That you can't even see
It took a little time
To get next to me
Paul Simon “Something So Right”
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Or so the saying goes.
I was driving today in the car with my kids when a song came on with this adage embedded in the chorus. When the song finished, my son said, “I don’t agree with that.” “With what?” I asked. “With ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’” He continued, “If something tried to kill you but didn’t, you wouldn’t be stronger, you’d be wounded and you’d probably need to go to the hospital.” I could see his point, hypothetically, but I countered with, “Yeah, but maybe after you’d healed you’d be stronger.” His quick response, “No you wouldn’t. You’d be paranoid.” Ha.
Touché. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you paranoid (or left with irrational fear/distrust of others). I’ve seen it happen so often with people who have experienced a major breakup or divorce. The ability to love with an open-heart is traded in for a more guarded, “adult” approach. I’ve seen others who won’t even venture into relationships after a divorce. Instead, they wear the crusty scabs of their lost loves thinking that their loose-fitting clothing hides their injuries. But it doesn’t. When someone has the great wall of China around their heart, it’s never invisible.
So what’s the secret of being able to love open-heartedly without letting your heart become a welcome-sign doormat for everyone who wants to get the crud off their boots? I’m not exactly sure, but I think it has to do with choosing relationships that allow the love of a balanced heart - the ability to love another whilst loving oneself (Marble 331). The good news is, I have at least 201 Marbles to continue to balance my heart.
Has your breakup made you paranoid? If so, what would it take for you to let go of the past and be open-hearted in the present?
It's a thousand miles long
To keep out the foreigners they made it strong
And I've got a wall around me
That you can't even see
It took a little time
To get next to me
Paul Simon “Something So Right”
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Or so the saying goes.
I was driving today in the car with my kids when a song came on with this adage embedded in the chorus. When the song finished, my son said, “I don’t agree with that.” “With what?” I asked. “With ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’” He continued, “If something tried to kill you but didn’t, you wouldn’t be stronger, you’d be wounded and you’d probably need to go to the hospital.” I could see his point, hypothetically, but I countered with, “Yeah, but maybe after you’d healed you’d be stronger.” His quick response, “No you wouldn’t. You’d be paranoid.” Ha.
Touché. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you paranoid (or left with irrational fear/distrust of others). I’ve seen it happen so often with people who have experienced a major breakup or divorce. The ability to love with an open-heart is traded in for a more guarded, “adult” approach. I’ve seen others who won’t even venture into relationships after a divorce. Instead, they wear the crusty scabs of their lost loves thinking that their loose-fitting clothing hides their injuries. But it doesn’t. When someone has the great wall of China around their heart, it’s never invisible.
So what’s the secret of being able to love open-heartedly without letting your heart become a welcome-sign doormat for everyone who wants to get the crud off their boots? I’m not exactly sure, but I think it has to do with choosing relationships that allow the love of a balanced heart - the ability to love another whilst loving oneself (Marble 331). The good news is, I have at least 201 Marbles to continue to balance my heart.
Has your breakup made you paranoid? If so, what would it take for you to let go of the past and be open-hearted in the present?
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