252 Marbles
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Dr Suess
My daughter was sad tonight. She wanted to know if her dad and I would ever get back together. I told her, “I don’t know the future, but I doubt it. What I do know is what I choose to feel today and I’m choosing to be happier.” I think she sees this.
113 Marbles post breakup, the kids and I have adjusted into a routine. Although I miss them when they’re with Ex-man, I try to focus on enjoying them to the fullest when they’re with me. I get as much writing and housework done as I can when they’re away and when they return, I focus on them, being their mom. With no energy being put into a relationship that wasn’t working, I have more energy to focus on the relationships that are working – the connections with my kids.
I have a friend who says that divorce is the best invention for kids when there are two engaged parents. The kids get to experience two homes and two frames of reference with separate ways of being in the world. Whereas I’m not sure that I completely agree with her, I do note the positive contribution that my eldest son’s stepmother and her family have been to his life. I also know that Ex-man and his family have expanded my eldest son’s life considerably.
I cannot deny that the breakup with Ex-man was a family breakup. It affected us, our children, and it sent ripples through our extended family and friends. Yet I’m hoping that once we've adjusted, my younger two children will benefit from the people whom Ex-man and myself add to our lives…eventually.
When Dr. Suess’ quote is applied to the marble context, it is a light way of appreciating what was experienced before the breakup.
If there are children involved, is it possible that eventually the breakup could expand their lives in a good way? If there were no children, is it possible that, once you’ve adjusted, the breakup will allow for space for expanding your own life?
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Dr Suess
My daughter was sad tonight. She wanted to know if her dad and I would ever get back together. I told her, “I don’t know the future, but I doubt it. What I do know is what I choose to feel today and I’m choosing to be happier.” I think she sees this.
113 Marbles post breakup, the kids and I have adjusted into a routine. Although I miss them when they’re with Ex-man, I try to focus on enjoying them to the fullest when they’re with me. I get as much writing and housework done as I can when they’re away and when they return, I focus on them, being their mom. With no energy being put into a relationship that wasn’t working, I have more energy to focus on the relationships that are working – the connections with my kids.
I have a friend who says that divorce is the best invention for kids when there are two engaged parents. The kids get to experience two homes and two frames of reference with separate ways of being in the world. Whereas I’m not sure that I completely agree with her, I do note the positive contribution that my eldest son’s stepmother and her family have been to his life. I also know that Ex-man and his family have expanded my eldest son’s life considerably.
I cannot deny that the breakup with Ex-man was a family breakup. It affected us, our children, and it sent ripples through our extended family and friends. Yet I’m hoping that once we've adjusted, my younger two children will benefit from the people whom Ex-man and myself add to our lives…eventually.
When Dr. Suess’ quote is applied to the marble context, it is a light way of appreciating what was experienced before the breakup.
If there are children involved, is it possible that eventually the breakup could expand their lives in a good way? If there were no children, is it possible that, once you’ve adjusted, the breakup will allow for space for expanding your own life?
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