Grieving Steps: Step 5 - Depression

258 Marbles -

"And what would you do…if God spoke directly to your face and said, 'I COMMAND THAT YOU BE HAPPY IN THE WORLD, AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.' What would you do then?"


Richard Bach “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah”



    Depression can be one of the steps in the grieving process post breakup.  It is defined as extreme gloom and to me that word “gloom” echoes the feeling of depression - I picture being glued into a room, stuck in a stagnant sadness.  Whereas I’m not a stranger to post breakup sadness, I’m not familiar with depression.  I feel lucky that my sadness always has a buoyancy of hope to it - the feeling that the sadness won’t last forever.  I also am aware that as the time after the breakup increases, the periods of sadness decrease.

  
    I asked a friend what it feels like to be depressed and she told me, “It’s painful to get out of bed, nothing looks pretty or beautiful, there’s heaviness/pain in body, it’s like looking at life through gray-colored glasses, sometimes food doesn’t taste good (and sometimes food is the only thing that tastes good), there’s a constant drone of ‘I don’t care’ (an underlying ambivalence), celebrations (like birthdays) have no meaning, and sex drive can lower.” Hmmm, it seems like an overall loss of mojo. 

 
    Whereas depression can be seen as a natural stage in the grieving process post breakup, it is meant to be a stage and something that is passed through.  I believe that happiness is our birthright.  It is not dependent on how many mistakes/interesting choices we have made.  We are not asked to do penance for our past. 

If there is a feeling of being stuck in depression, is it working for you? If not, is it time to seek out someone (like a good therapist) who can facilitate juicing more joy out of life?       What would it take to allow more happiness in life?  What would it take to make space for more joy?