261 Marbles
Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.
Craig Ferguson “American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot”
Anger can be a relatively comfortable emotion for it has the impression of possessing a certain amount of strength. Post breakup, it felt less vulnerable to be mad at Ex-man than sad. I was angry at him for calling it quits with our relationship. I was angry with him for taking so long to move out (nine months). Then I was angry with him when he moved out and cut off communication and appeared to move on with his life. Beneath all that anger at him, I was angry at myself for getting back into a relationship with him when we were both post divorce (we had also been together in high school). I should have listened to my intuition and steered clear of him at our mutually vulnerable time but I didn’t. Yet how much of all this anger was masking my sadness?
I was mad at Ex-man for pulling the plug on us despite the water in our relationship tub having turned cold. I was upset because I felt the stakes were high (keeping us and our family together) and I felt that we hadn’t explored all options to make our relationship better. Couldn’t we have turned the hot water tap back on? If the hot water tank was empty, couldn’t we have boiled water to add back into the tub? We were two resourceful, smart adults - why couldn’t we get it right?
The fact is, we couldn’t. He was the one to pull the plug and I can’t say I’ve forgiven him for doing it, but the best thing to do is get myself up, step away, and dry myself off.
Kahil Gibran wrote, “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” This is often true with breakups, the one who you are angry at has once been your delight: a friend, a lover, a keeper of dreams. What's it going to take to let go of the anger?
Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.
Craig Ferguson “American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot”
Anger can be a relatively comfortable emotion for it has the impression of possessing a certain amount of strength. Post breakup, it felt less vulnerable to be mad at Ex-man than sad. I was angry at him for calling it quits with our relationship. I was angry with him for taking so long to move out (nine months). Then I was angry with him when he moved out and cut off communication and appeared to move on with his life. Beneath all that anger at him, I was angry at myself for getting back into a relationship with him when we were both post divorce (we had also been together in high school). I should have listened to my intuition and steered clear of him at our mutually vulnerable time but I didn’t. Yet how much of all this anger was masking my sadness?
I was mad at Ex-man for pulling the plug on us despite the water in our relationship tub having turned cold. I was upset because I felt the stakes were high (keeping us and our family together) and I felt that we hadn’t explored all options to make our relationship better. Couldn’t we have turned the hot water tap back on? If the hot water tank was empty, couldn’t we have boiled water to add back into the tub? We were two resourceful, smart adults - why couldn’t we get it right?
The fact is, we couldn’t. He was the one to pull the plug and I can’t say I’ve forgiven him for doing it, but the best thing to do is get myself up, step away, and dry myself off.
Kahil Gibran wrote, “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” This is often true with breakups, the one who you are angry at has once been your delight: a friend, a lover, a keeper of dreams. What's it going to take to let go of the anger?
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