262 Marbles
You give yourself permission to grieve by recognizing the need for grieving. Grieving is the natural way of working through the loss of a love. Grieving is not weakness nor absence of faith. Grieving is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired or sneezing when your nose itches. It is nature's way of healing a broken heart.
Doug Manning
There is usually a grieving process with the loss of a relationship. Sure, I’ve known a woman who felt only happiness once the divorce papers were signed, but the relationship had died a slow death over the years proceeding that moment. Even after her initial relief, there were moments of readjustment that required a mourning of the relationship and her lost dreams for herself and her family.
Grief can be defined as intense sorrow or distress especially at the death/loss of someone. I felt the effects of grief once Ex-man finally moved out despite the truth that the relationship wasn’t functioning in a way that honored either of us. We had known each other for over a quarter of a century and this change in relationship has been a difficult adjustment, yet as Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight.” When you’re going through a breakup, however, it usually doesn’t feel like delight.
The first stages in the grieving process is “Denial and Isolation.” Often one of the parties will deny that the relationship has lost all respiratory functioning. I know Ex-man and I both went through a period of denial once he told me that he was moving out. For a brief time, there was an increase in intimacy (including increased sexual intimacy). We were both in a stage of disbelief that what started out so well, and with so much love, could turn out so poorly. This stage led into the reality of his plans to move out and his preparations to renovate the apartment that he would move into. The period of intimacy dissipated and I became anxiously ready for the inevitable move out date.
After the breakup, I went into a period of isolation where I couldn’t be around too many people (as described in Marble 350). It seemed to me that Ex-man was doing quite a bit of socializing, however, and hearing this (through the children grapevine) used to irk me. The good news is that as the months have passed, I am definitely more surefooted when it comes to being in social situations. As Diphilus noted hundreds of years ago, “Time is a physician that heals every grief.”
You give yourself permission to grieve by recognizing the need for grieving. Grieving is the natural way of working through the loss of a love. Grieving is not weakness nor absence of faith. Grieving is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired or sneezing when your nose itches. It is nature's way of healing a broken heart.
Doug Manning
There is usually a grieving process with the loss of a relationship. Sure, I’ve known a woman who felt only happiness once the divorce papers were signed, but the relationship had died a slow death over the years proceeding that moment. Even after her initial relief, there were moments of readjustment that required a mourning of the relationship and her lost dreams for herself and her family.
Grief can be defined as intense sorrow or distress especially at the death/loss of someone. I felt the effects of grief once Ex-man finally moved out despite the truth that the relationship wasn’t functioning in a way that honored either of us. We had known each other for over a quarter of a century and this change in relationship has been a difficult adjustment, yet as Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight.” When you’re going through a breakup, however, it usually doesn’t feel like delight.
The first stages in the grieving process is “Denial and Isolation.” Often one of the parties will deny that the relationship has lost all respiratory functioning. I know Ex-man and I both went through a period of denial once he told me that he was moving out. For a brief time, there was an increase in intimacy (including increased sexual intimacy). We were both in a stage of disbelief that what started out so well, and with so much love, could turn out so poorly. This stage led into the reality of his plans to move out and his preparations to renovate the apartment that he would move into. The period of intimacy dissipated and I became anxiously ready for the inevitable move out date.
After the breakup, I went into a period of isolation where I couldn’t be around too many people (as described in Marble 350). It seemed to me that Ex-man was doing quite a bit of socializing, however, and hearing this (through the children grapevine) used to irk me. The good news is that as the months have passed, I am definitely more surefooted when it comes to being in social situations. As Diphilus noted hundreds of years ago, “Time is a physician that heals every grief.”
Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Are you still feeling the pangs and adjustments of the breakup? Do you need some support to move through it? There are amazing therapists that specialize in adjusting to breakups.
It gets better…
It gets better…
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