254 Marbles
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
I’ve known women who have never experienced a good lover in their lives. A couple of them were married for years and while the marriage worked on many levels, their sensual sides just weren’t satisfied. It’s not that I think sex is the reason for having a relationship, but it is an enjoyable part of life so why not experience a full life while we’re in these bodies?
One of my friends ended up leaving her marriage (not just because of the bad sex) and later started dating a man who was an amazing lover. They didn’t end up staying together, but she became aware of her latent sensuality and knew that she would require this to be part of her subsequent relationships. Whereas physical attraction isn’t the only area to focus on (it can’t even be used as a reliable thermometer - look at Ex-man and me, great sex, not-so-great relationship), in my experience, sex is one of the components of a great connection.
According to Toni Coleman, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach, there are three elements to relationship chemistry:
1. Physical attraction - what initially draws us to another person
2. Friendship - being able to relate to each other, see the world in same way, connect without too much work (what Kahil Gibran called spiritual affinity)
3. Intellectual attraction - the ability to stimulate/challenge each other intellectually
Coleman claims that one or the other may be prominent in a relationship but all three need to be present for relationship chemistry. Check her out at: http://www.monkeysee.com/play/6708-what-is-relationship-chemistry.
So was staying with Ex-man like flying to London for the peanuts and pretzels? Hmmm, I don’t think so. I thought that if the peanuts and pretzels were good and if I loved the guy in the seat next to me, there had to be a way to make the trip to London work. Turns out, I needed a different flight.
Would you be open to a relationship with someone who is a friend who satisfies your spirit as well as physically and intellectually? I call it the triple whammy.
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
I’ve known women who have never experienced a good lover in their lives. A couple of them were married for years and while the marriage worked on many levels, their sensual sides just weren’t satisfied. It’s not that I think sex is the reason for having a relationship, but it is an enjoyable part of life so why not experience a full life while we’re in these bodies?
One of my friends ended up leaving her marriage (not just because of the bad sex) and later started dating a man who was an amazing lover. They didn’t end up staying together, but she became aware of her latent sensuality and knew that she would require this to be part of her subsequent relationships. Whereas physical attraction isn’t the only area to focus on (it can’t even be used as a reliable thermometer - look at Ex-man and me, great sex, not-so-great relationship), in my experience, sex is one of the components of a great connection.
According to Toni Coleman, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach, there are three elements to relationship chemistry:
1. Physical attraction - what initially draws us to another person
2. Friendship - being able to relate to each other, see the world in same way, connect without too much work (what Kahil Gibran called spiritual affinity)
3. Intellectual attraction - the ability to stimulate/challenge each other intellectually
Coleman claims that one or the other may be prominent in a relationship but all three need to be present for relationship chemistry. Check her out at: http://www.monkeysee.com/play/6708-what-is-relationship-chemistry.
So was staying with Ex-man like flying to London for the peanuts and pretzels? Hmmm, I don’t think so. I thought that if the peanuts and pretzels were good and if I loved the guy in the seat next to me, there had to be a way to make the trip to London work. Turns out, I needed a different flight.
Would you be open to a relationship with someone who is a friend who satisfies your spirit as well as physically and intellectually? I call it the triple whammy.
No comments:
Post a Comment