Let’s be in Jelly Beans

307 Marbles –
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein

    I had a cry last night.  I was missing Ex-man.  He was my first love, my friend since I was fourteen.   Sure, I spend a good deal of my time being frustrated with our failed attempts at relationship, but underneath it all is just a big heap of sadness. 
    My daughter  came into my room and saw me crying.  She tried to console me and I told her it was normal for me to be sad sometimes.  I’ve loved her father since the moment I saw him when I was still a girl.  She said to me, “Mom, I don’t know why you’re so sad.  Daddy still loves you.  You still love Daddy. You’re just not in a ‘relationship.’ If it weren’t for the label, you’d see that nothing has really changed.” 

   The sad me said, “Of course things have changed.  We aren’t the same to each other.  It will never be the same.” 

   “You know," she said,"If we said ‘jelly beans’ instead of ‘relationship,’ things would be different,” she smiled. 

   I imagined a breakup of 'jelly beans' with her Dad.  It sure didn't feel as heavy.  Then I imagined my daughter's wedding invitation and said, “The parents of X & Y would like to cordially invite you to a jelly bean party.  Please come dressed appropriately.” We had a laugh over this.
    “You think I’m crazy,” she said.
    “No way. I think you’re wise and a free-thinker.”
    “There’s no room in the world for a free-thinker,” she answered.
    “Hah, that’s what you think. Free thinkers make room for themselves and so will you."

'Divorce' and 'breakup' are such heavy words.  Maybe we brought our jelly beans together and shared them for a while, but then the flavors started clashing and it was time to sort through and separate.  What would it take for your breakup to feel less heavy?