311 Marbles
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Alexandre Dumas
I’ve been pulling up the self-doubt card in my imaginary tarot deck. My friend Rayana says it's a good sign, “It shows that you’re getting closer to your goals.” It’s a great thought but, surprise, I doubt it’s true.
My biggest doubt comes in this form, “What if I'm not cut out to be a writer? When are you going to move on to Plan B?” Hmmm, this sounds suspiciously familiar – like Ex-man’s, “You’re putting all your eggs in one basket.” He leaves. The doubt stays. Lousy.
I was recently talking to my friend Melissa about this pestilent thought. Her answer to me was, “But you love your basket.” Simple, but true. I do love writing. It took me 24 years to decide I wanted to write, another 12 years to decide to go back to school and continue to learn and develop more skill. Before that I dabbled in painting, floral arranging, photography, and always the restaurant business. I know that if I focused my energy in any one of these areas, I could make a career of it, but writing is the only area that I can take all the “No’s.” I write, I edit, and I wait for the No’s to turn into Yes’s.
The self-doubt card doesn’t like this blind faith. I say, who cares. Does my writing hurt anyone? No. Am I getting better? Yes. So full steam ahead. But writing is based on the audacious presumption that I have something to say about life, and the human experience -that my way of seeing the world deserves some air time. There are demons that have to be addressed – feelings of inadequacy, the familiar refrain that “I read into things too much.”
Here’s where my tenacity comes in handy. Often, it’s the personality trait that is a liability in some situations becomes a great asset in others. I’ll admit that I’m stubborn and I’ve been described as a pit bull because when I get something in my jaw, I don’t let go. This tendency has been detrimental to relationships but it could be that it’s the very quality (given to me by one of Sleeping Beauty’s three fairies) that will help me succeed.
Success to me means providing a home for myself and my family and doing something I enjoy. So yes, I love my basket, but I believe this is the basket I was meant to love.
Are you doing what you love to do? Joseph Campbell was famous for saying,"Follow your bliss. Find where it is and don't be afraid to follow it." A breakup can be a great time to renovate your life. If you're not enjoying how you spend your time on the planet, make moves to change the way you spend your time. Campbell also said, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss."
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Alexandre Dumas
I’ve been pulling up the self-doubt card in my imaginary tarot deck. My friend Rayana says it's a good sign, “It shows that you’re getting closer to your goals.” It’s a great thought but, surprise, I doubt it’s true.
My biggest doubt comes in this form, “What if I'm not cut out to be a writer? When are you going to move on to Plan B?” Hmmm, this sounds suspiciously familiar – like Ex-man’s, “You’re putting all your eggs in one basket.” He leaves. The doubt stays. Lousy.
I was recently talking to my friend Melissa about this pestilent thought. Her answer to me was, “But you love your basket.” Simple, but true. I do love writing. It took me 24 years to decide I wanted to write, another 12 years to decide to go back to school and continue to learn and develop more skill. Before that I dabbled in painting, floral arranging, photography, and always the restaurant business. I know that if I focused my energy in any one of these areas, I could make a career of it, but writing is the only area that I can take all the “No’s.” I write, I edit, and I wait for the No’s to turn into Yes’s.
The self-doubt card doesn’t like this blind faith. I say, who cares. Does my writing hurt anyone? No. Am I getting better? Yes. So full steam ahead. But writing is based on the audacious presumption that I have something to say about life, and the human experience -that my way of seeing the world deserves some air time. There are demons that have to be addressed – feelings of inadequacy, the familiar refrain that “I read into things too much.”
Here’s where my tenacity comes in handy. Often, it’s the personality trait that is a liability in some situations becomes a great asset in others. I’ll admit that I’m stubborn and I’ve been described as a pit bull because when I get something in my jaw, I don’t let go. This tendency has been detrimental to relationships but it could be that it’s the very quality (given to me by one of Sleeping Beauty’s three fairies) that will help me succeed.
Success to me means providing a home for myself and my family and doing something I enjoy. So yes, I love my basket, but I believe this is the basket I was meant to love.
Are you doing what you love to do? Joseph Campbell was famous for saying,"Follow your bliss. Find where it is and don't be afraid to follow it." A breakup can be a great time to renovate your life. If you're not enjoying how you spend your time on the planet, make moves to change the way you spend your time. Campbell also said, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss."
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