A Benign Glass of Wine?

327 Marbles

   It’s my birthday week so last night I went out for dinner with my son’s Aunt Cathy to a little wine bar that serves great food in the most cramped quarters possible.  Just after our Mussels and Navaho bread, a man came up to me and said, “I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.” – I’ll interrupt here to say that I’m interesting looking, perhaps, and definitely spirited, but in the now forty-one years I’ve been on the planet, I’ve never had a stranger approach me in this manner.  My first thought was that he’s a gay makeup artist who has been studying my features and is thinking of doing a makeover a la Kevin Aucoin, turning me into, say, Prince.  But no, he continued, “If you ever would like to go out say, for a glass of wine, please give me a call.”  Here’s where he slipped me his number and his name (Doug) and believe me, he should have quit while he was ahead cuz his last line, “I’m older than I look – I’m 36” proved that he had me pegged for older than him. I smiled and thanked him, after all, overall it was flattering. 
   The most remarkable part of the evening is when he and his friends got sat right beside us.  I couldn’t help but overhear him talking about his ex-girlfriend and how she had left him for a woman.  I find it curious that, of all the woman in the room, he zoned in on me, the one who has left a man in the past to be with a woman, the one who is currently wondering if another woman might be in the cards.
   I don’t plan on going out with him, though I might call just to decline and explain my recent breakup.  I won’t go into the marbles and celibacy pact.  Cathy suggested that I go out and have fun, but I’m not ready.  Nor do I think that it’s wise for him to be attracted to me by my looks.  Looks are surface deep and thus, the flattery is equally as shallow.  Mr. Doug doesn’t know me, so how could he know if I’m truly gorgeous?
   I confess, my mind did go on a date with Mr. Doug briefly, but I can’t picture a stranger in my life right now.  The whole scene gets a red light.  I can’t picture anyone in my space except me and my kids. I hope this feeling doesn’t last forever or I’ll fall quickly and quietly into the old crone stage.  But for now, there’s no such thing as a benign glass of wine.

If you're post breakup and have been following real time, it's been forty marbles.  Where do you stand on dating?  Is it still cleanup time? Do you believe you could go into dating open-heartedly without carrying baggage from your breakup?