The Address Book

321 Marbles 

    Today I worked on re-writing my (formerly our) address book.  The old one had been around the block and was carrying the remnants of connections that were no longer valid in my new post breakup life.  

   I bought a new book that suited my style and also has a special spot to note my friend’s and family’s birthdays and favorite flower (give me a break).  Then I systematically went through the contacts and only transferred the people who I can see needing or wanting to contact now or in the future.  Those connections that were only because of Ex-man stayed in the old book. The people who made the cut have their names written in ink in my new book because it isn’t often that someone gets cut from my circle.  All the addresses get written in pencil as I find that people move houses more often than they move out of my life. 
   I have children with Ex-man so his family remains in my new book.  I don’t expect that we will maintain close ties, but I do think that they would be on my Christmas card list (let's face it, the years that I do get around to Christmas cards).  

   In any major breakup, there is the separation of two root systems that have grown together over time.  My new address book is all about deciding the garden that I want to create around me and my family through this transplanting process.  The process I am partaking in is not about letting go of the old connections and making way for the new.  When I am done, I feel lighter and more open to new connections in the future.

Is it time to go through your phone, computer, and/or address book and delete contacts that are no longer pertinent to your new life?  There may be those connections that you will miss. Are there those that you never really enjoyed spending time with? Mourn the former.  Celebrate the latter. 

Were you and your ex connected through Facebook?  Is unfriending former "friends" your style?