Horseback Riding

176 Marbles

I'll be the right hand


you'll be the left hand


you and me we make


a mariachi band…
…and I've seen so much


more than I would see


if it was just me, just me


if it was just me, just me
ani difranco, “mariachi”

    Another anachronistic marble post from the lake with my newish lover.  It’s 6:45 am - my family is still sleeping soundly in the cabin and I’m sitting in front of the breezy lake thinking about our horseback ride.  My lover enjoys horses so we found a trail ride to take the kids on at dusk. 
    I had been horseback riding once in my life.  I was in Costa Rica and my father asked the guide to give me a sluggish horse as I was inexperienced.  As soon as I got on the alleged “plug,” it took off galloping down the beach, doing its best to rub me off its back against the rapidly passing trees.  It took the guide a while to catch up with us, but eventually he did and he managed to control my horse.  After that experience, I wasn’t too fond of horses.  The other night, my horse had a similar but less volatile reaction to me being on her back.  My lover and I switched horses and all was fine - no, amazing -  for the remainder of the ride. As Winston Churchill wrote, “No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle.”
    I’ve been coming to this lake for fifteen years but it was the  enthusiasm of my lover who brought a new experience to me and my family.  And that is one of the reasons that I enjoy being in a good relationship - ani difranco sings, “I’ve seen so much more than I would see if it was just me” but I tend to thing that “I become more than I would be if it was just me.”  A good relationship not only expands my life experientially, it stretches who I am in the world.  Sometimes it gently prods and pokes at my wobbly places and asks me to give them attention.  At times it encourages me to go into my fears (as with my equinophobia) and allow for a new and more positive experience.  For these opportunities, I am grateful. 
    I have a single friend who views relationship as a hindrance, like a taming, a tethering, a saddling.  He feels he can ride longer and freer and see more when he is unencumbered by another being. But to me, that is the trick of creating a good relationship, being able to maintain a sense of autonomy while being connected to another being.  Stay tuned to my exploration of this in the future blog : 365 Marbles - Surviving Online Dating, One Marble at a Time.  But first, let’s get through the first 365 Marbles…

How do you view relationships?  Do you mainly see the expansive capabilities? Do relationships feel like a contraction of who you are?