158 Marbles
My Family was Like Manure…
…but you need lots of bullshit to grow a healthy garden
Me
You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.Richard Bach
I spent some time with my Ex-husband’s lovely sister this weekend. She lives in another city but always makes time to see me when she comes to visit. We went for a run and then went for lunch but as much as I loved spending time with her, it started me thinking how I landed in my crazy biological family.
My Ex-husband’s family was amazing – a close-knit, loving, Greek family. They took me in like I was one of their own and I still have great friendships with my ex-sisters-in-law. Yet, it makes me wonder what happened with my family? One of my sisters claims it is because there were so many strong personalities in our family but I see other families that have managed to flourish in similar circumstances while mine is disjointed and not very functional.
I’ve heard people say that you choose your family before you were born, that somehow your soul is drawn to just the right set of circumstances that will allow for the lessons you need in this lifetime. If that is true, I want to go back to my unborn soul and shake her soon-to-be head.
Maybe the lesson is to take the good things from my family and leave the rest. I don’t go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and eat everything so likewise, I shouldn’t expect to find everything about my family appetizing.
These are the take-aways that I have from being born into my family:
From my father – playfulness and a sense of adventure
From my mother – a loving, maternal nature
From their relationship – the belief that I shouldn’t be dependent on a man
From my sisters – the desire to create and to live a creative life
And from my ex-husband’s family – a blueprint for something more healthy
Here’s the rub: while it’s important for me to recognize where some of my pain originated, it’s equally important for me to deal with it and to move on as an adult with my own family. I recently heard a story from Oprah how she used to lament that she didn’t get presents as a child and that she never got a bike. Finally her partner pointed out that she could now buy herself a bike (or two). His message - let it go and move on.
What are the amazing take-aways from being in your biological family? Has each of your family members taught you something?
…but you need lots of bullshit to grow a healthy garden
Me
You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.Richard Bach
I spent some time with my Ex-husband’s lovely sister this weekend. She lives in another city but always makes time to see me when she comes to visit. We went for a run and then went for lunch but as much as I loved spending time with her, it started me thinking how I landed in my crazy biological family.
My Ex-husband’s family was amazing – a close-knit, loving, Greek family. They took me in like I was one of their own and I still have great friendships with my ex-sisters-in-law. Yet, it makes me wonder what happened with my family? One of my sisters claims it is because there were so many strong personalities in our family but I see other families that have managed to flourish in similar circumstances while mine is disjointed and not very functional.
I’ve heard people say that you choose your family before you were born, that somehow your soul is drawn to just the right set of circumstances that will allow for the lessons you need in this lifetime. If that is true, I want to go back to my unborn soul and shake her soon-to-be head.
Maybe the lesson is to take the good things from my family and leave the rest. I don’t go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and eat everything so likewise, I shouldn’t expect to find everything about my family appetizing.
These are the take-aways that I have from being born into my family:
From my father – playfulness and a sense of adventure
From my mother – a loving, maternal nature
From their relationship – the belief that I shouldn’t be dependent on a man
From my sisters – the desire to create and to live a creative life
And from my ex-husband’s family – a blueprint for something more healthy
Here’s the rub: while it’s important for me to recognize where some of my pain originated, it’s equally important for me to deal with it and to move on as an adult with my own family. I recently heard a story from Oprah how she used to lament that she didn’t get presents as a child and that she never got a bike. Finally her partner pointed out that she could now buy herself a bike (or two). His message - let it go and move on.
What are the amazing take-aways from being in your biological family? Has each of your family members taught you something?
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