Rebuilding (aka Thriving) . . .
180 Marbles
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
One of the most unpleasant moment of my children's year is when they have to wave good-bye to the lake where we go every summer. It’s a sad moment in the car when they turn around and say, “Bye Vaseux,” as they realize that they won’t see it for another 365 marbles. Today I said good-bye to the lake on my own as the kids are going with Ex-man to a friend’s cabin for a few days. As I looked at the lake in my rear-view mirror, I thought, “I may never come back here again.” I’m ready to let go to Ex-man and our life together, and yes, even the lake.
It may be coincidental that this coincides almost perfectly with the halfway mark of the marble challenge but Ex-man moved out winter and six months later, we met up at our regular holiday spot at the regular holiday time. Call it divine timing but our rendezvous helped me realize that what fundamentally made our relationship unworkable remains unchanged.
If I could have taken Eckhart Tolle’s advice early in the marble game, I would have seen the breakup as neutral. He says, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” Ha, Lord knows I do too much thinking and feeling and there is rarely a situation that I view as neutral, but maybe that kind of neutrality is something I can invite more into my life. Tolle also distinguishes between happiness and inner peace saying, “Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.” While I’m at it, I could ask for a heaping order of inner peace.
This breakup has been an invitation to start over. Just over six months post breakup, I feel more excited (and less sad) and more willing to be open to new possibilities in my life. I’m sitting on the floor with a pile of blocks scattered around me. I ask myself, “What do I want to build now?”
What do you want to build in your life? What do you want to experience? Letting go of the past is all part of the process…
180 Marbles
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
One of the most unpleasant moment of my children's year is when they have to wave good-bye to the lake where we go every summer. It’s a sad moment in the car when they turn around and say, “Bye Vaseux,” as they realize that they won’t see it for another 365 marbles. Today I said good-bye to the lake on my own as the kids are going with Ex-man to a friend’s cabin for a few days. As I looked at the lake in my rear-view mirror, I thought, “I may never come back here again.” I’m ready to let go to Ex-man and our life together, and yes, even the lake.
It may be coincidental that this coincides almost perfectly with the halfway mark of the marble challenge but Ex-man moved out winter and six months later, we met up at our regular holiday spot at the regular holiday time. Call it divine timing but our rendezvous helped me realize that what fundamentally made our relationship unworkable remains unchanged.
If I could have taken Eckhart Tolle’s advice early in the marble game, I would have seen the breakup as neutral. He says, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” Ha, Lord knows I do too much thinking and feeling and there is rarely a situation that I view as neutral, but maybe that kind of neutrality is something I can invite more into my life. Tolle also distinguishes between happiness and inner peace saying, “Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.” While I’m at it, I could ask for a heaping order of inner peace.
This breakup has been an invitation to start over. Just over six months post breakup, I feel more excited (and less sad) and more willing to be open to new possibilities in my life. I’m sitting on the floor with a pile of blocks scattered around me. I ask myself, “What do I want to build now?”
What do you want to build in your life? What do you want to experience? Letting go of the past is all part of the process…
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