90 Marbles
I realized today that all my friends have cleaning ladies. The only significance to this is that while others seem to have moved forward with their careers, I’m still in school, scraping together money for my tuition, slinging hash in a restaurant. This isn’t a victim story, but it is an observation to check in with how I’m feeling about the road that I’ve chosen.
A couple of years ago, a good friend of mine called me up to tell me about an excellent job position for a popular festival that she thought I’d be perfect for. The salary was six figures and it would involve a great deal of time to get the festival running more profitably. She had worked with me in the past and she knew I had marketing experience. She also knew that I was better than any of the applicants that they had received thus far. In the final part of her generous pitch, she said, “And in your spare time, you could still do your writing.”
If I were writing the screenplay of that scene, I would have had those final words reverberate because that’s exactly what they did in my head: they resounded with an empty echo. I knew myself - I knew with the challenge of a new and demanding job, I would throw myself into it and do the best that I could. With my kids in the mix, it’s a balancing act. There would be no room for writing or for me to finish school. I had to decline.
I’ve never regretted that decision although I know that my friend (one of the ones with a cleaning lady) doesn’t understand my choice. I do have a couple of stories in my kit bag that act as salve to my ego (who really hated my decision.) The first was an artist I heard being interviewed a few years ago on the radio. She had just one a major award for her work but she had come into her own later in life. She commented that her hardest lesson had been to celebrate the achievements of her friends and family without feeling threatened by them or jealous of them. For her, success had come later so all her friends and family had bought houses, established careers, etc while she wasn’t even out of the starting blocks. Sounds familiar.
The second salve story is from one of my favorite Canadian authors - Ann-Marie MacDonald. When she was working on her novel “Fall on Your Knees,” she was offered a lucrative job. She had the difficult choice to continue writing her manuscript that had no guarantee of ever making her money, or to take a job that would offer her a steady paycheck. As she puts it, it felt like she was stepping back and “watching a moving money train” roll past her. Yet the book that she wrote went on to be published in 17 languages and to be chosen for Oprah’s Book Club. Turns out, there’s not just one moving money train.
Are there areas in your life where you are trying to keep up with the Joneses? Do those areas go against what you really want to do in life?
I realized today that all my friends have cleaning ladies. The only significance to this is that while others seem to have moved forward with their careers, I’m still in school, scraping together money for my tuition, slinging hash in a restaurant. This isn’t a victim story, but it is an observation to check in with how I’m feeling about the road that I’ve chosen.
A couple of years ago, a good friend of mine called me up to tell me about an excellent job position for a popular festival that she thought I’d be perfect for. The salary was six figures and it would involve a great deal of time to get the festival running more profitably. She had worked with me in the past and she knew I had marketing experience. She also knew that I was better than any of the applicants that they had received thus far. In the final part of her generous pitch, she said, “And in your spare time, you could still do your writing.”
If I were writing the screenplay of that scene, I would have had those final words reverberate because that’s exactly what they did in my head: they resounded with an empty echo. I knew myself - I knew with the challenge of a new and demanding job, I would throw myself into it and do the best that I could. With my kids in the mix, it’s a balancing act. There would be no room for writing or for me to finish school. I had to decline.
I’ve never regretted that decision although I know that my friend (one of the ones with a cleaning lady) doesn’t understand my choice. I do have a couple of stories in my kit bag that act as salve to my ego (who really hated my decision.) The first was an artist I heard being interviewed a few years ago on the radio. She had just one a major award for her work but she had come into her own later in life. She commented that her hardest lesson had been to celebrate the achievements of her friends and family without feeling threatened by them or jealous of them. For her, success had come later so all her friends and family had bought houses, established careers, etc while she wasn’t even out of the starting blocks. Sounds familiar.
The second salve story is from one of my favorite Canadian authors - Ann-Marie MacDonald. When she was working on her novel “Fall on Your Knees,” she was offered a lucrative job. She had the difficult choice to continue writing her manuscript that had no guarantee of ever making her money, or to take a job that would offer her a steady paycheck. As she puts it, it felt like she was stepping back and “watching a moving money train” roll past her. Yet the book that she wrote went on to be published in 17 languages and to be chosen for Oprah’s Book Club. Turns out, there’s not just one moving money train.
Are there areas in your life where you are trying to keep up with the Joneses? Do those areas go against what you really want to do in life?
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