80 Marbles
After yesterday’s marble, I’m noticing the manner in which I receive compliments. Quite often when someone compliments something that I’ve cooked, something that I’m wearing, or something that I’ve done, I respond by an addendum to the compliment. Usually that addendum expresses the ways that whatever is being complimented is not perfect. This has the effect of obliterating the original compliment, for example, let’s say someone compliments my new haircut (as someone recently did), my response was, “I don’t think that the color is right at all.” If a compliment were a tennis ball, I tend to smash it right back at the other person. Bad form.
I’m not sure why I do it. It’s like I have the unrealistic goal of perfection for myself yet this goal tends not to follow through to others. I have no problem with sincerely complimenting others yet when I’m on the receiving end, it’s uncomfortable. These may seem like small shifts in awareness, but what if my discomfort with receiving affects other areas as well? What if a shift in receiving compliments and gratitude allows me to clear blocks around receiving other things such as material abundance or acceptance?
I work with my nephew and I would sometimes bring him little treats that I knew he enjoyed. One day, he let me know that if he bought me a meal, then he’d be even with me for all the times that I’d brought him something. This made me feel like he was keeping track and I pointed this out to him. It also made me feel less joy in giving to him. Yes, it can feel uncomfortable to receive more than you’ve given, but if there’s a tallying scale that persists in your mind, are you ever totally receiving? It can also feel frustrating to give something to someone who isn’t able to receive it.
Like many people, I was brought up with the biblical quote, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive." But what if you give to others by gratefully receiving what they have given to you?
Are you equally comfortable giving and receiving? What would it take to be in equal comfort of receiving and giving?
After yesterday’s marble, I’m noticing the manner in which I receive compliments. Quite often when someone compliments something that I’ve cooked, something that I’m wearing, or something that I’ve done, I respond by an addendum to the compliment. Usually that addendum expresses the ways that whatever is being complimented is not perfect. This has the effect of obliterating the original compliment, for example, let’s say someone compliments my new haircut (as someone recently did), my response was, “I don’t think that the color is right at all.” If a compliment were a tennis ball, I tend to smash it right back at the other person. Bad form.
I’m not sure why I do it. It’s like I have the unrealistic goal of perfection for myself yet this goal tends not to follow through to others. I have no problem with sincerely complimenting others yet when I’m on the receiving end, it’s uncomfortable. These may seem like small shifts in awareness, but what if my discomfort with receiving affects other areas as well? What if a shift in receiving compliments and gratitude allows me to clear blocks around receiving other things such as material abundance or acceptance?
I work with my nephew and I would sometimes bring him little treats that I knew he enjoyed. One day, he let me know that if he bought me a meal, then he’d be even with me for all the times that I’d brought him something. This made me feel like he was keeping track and I pointed this out to him. It also made me feel less joy in giving to him. Yes, it can feel uncomfortable to receive more than you’ve given, but if there’s a tallying scale that persists in your mind, are you ever totally receiving? It can also feel frustrating to give something to someone who isn’t able to receive it.
Like many people, I was brought up with the biblical quote, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive." But what if you give to others by gratefully receiving what they have given to you?
Are you equally comfortable giving and receiving? What would it take to be in equal comfort of receiving and giving?
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