Real Estate Triggers

68 Marbles 

Well, war is obsolete, you know…Of course the mind can rationalize fighting back… but the heart, the heart would never understand.  Then you would be divided in yourself, the heart and the mind, and the war would be inside you.
The Dalai Lama (when asked why he didn’t fight back against the Chinese)

    Yesterday I walked past a real estate office and I took a look at the prices of houses. Yikes! All of them were over a million bucks. Now I’d like to say that these were lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous homes, but they weren’t. They were average single family dwellings in moderate neighborhoods. 
    For a moment I got slightly pissed off at myself for not going after Ex-man’s properties when I had the chance.  We had raised a family together for a dozen years while renovating and living in his home for most of that time. Yet I chose to walk away from it rather than fight for a legal claim as his partner and the mother of his children.
    Then I got pissed off at him because I remembered that around the time of our breakup, he kept mentioning how properties had really depreciated and they weren’t getting what they used to get (although at the time, I knew this to be false). I looked back and thought how his comments were consciously or subconsciously trying to sweep the gold under the carpet.  And I, too busy counting marbles, didn’t even notice that his plan was working. 
    A friend was with me yesterday when I started a wee rant: Ex-man and his sneaky ways; me not having a home of my own when the real estate around me keeps going up, up, up (contrary to Ex-man’s tales); how foolish I was, blah, blah, blah. She said, “Look how lucky you are that you’re not part of that reality anymore.” I took a breath and knew she was right.  Despite Ex-man having more than me financially, his reality is based on scarcity, his reality is based on not sharing, his reality is based on never having enough (or as he says, frugality).  I can slide back into that reality, as I had just done when triggered by real estate prices, but that is not where I want to reside.
    When we were breaking up, I knew I had a choice to fight or not to fight. The legal system would have provided a good boxing ring and while everyone has to make his/her own choice here, my operating instructions were clear: Any wealth that I’ll have in this lifetime will not come from Ex-man. Yet if the great Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, "I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage" I say, "I got the lesson of non-violence in my divorce."

     When I come back to my own knowing, I let go of the war inside of me and all sense of lack and the impossibility of ever getting what I want makes way for abundance and limitless possibilities.

Is there any war inside of you around your breakup? What can you do to come back to your heart? What can you do to come back to knowing what you know to be true?