89 Marbles
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Albert Einstein
I’m officially over my cleanse. This morning I ask myself, "What did I cleanse over the past 12 days?" Physically I detoxed and cleared out my digestive system while dropping the few extra pounds (an added bonus). I’ve reset my taste buds so that even a bit of sugar seems like a lot and I’ve become more conscious of what I’m eating. Emotionally, I’ve let go of the idea that Ex-man and I could have been any different. I’m more willing to accept who he is rather than who I would have liked him to be (as Einstein’s quote suggests). Despite it being a moot point now that we’re no longer together, I realize that I carried that desire for him to speak differently, act differently, and be different even in our dealings around our children. It’s clear that expecting something different is like banging my head against the same old wall and do I really need to do that anymore?
At the beginning of the cleanse, I recalled a dream in which my father asked me, “When will you nourish yourself?” Throughout the twelve days of cleansing, this question came to my awareness frequently when I was doing things that were not nourishing. I was forced to look at the manner in which I ingest food (my pre-cleanse understatement, “I could eat more slowly.”) I realized that when I sit down to eat, I usually have a hundred other things on my mind: if I’m at home, it’s all the jobs I have to do; if I’m at work, it’s all the tasks that I have to finish, and usually I’m getting up and down as I perform those tasks. Bottom line - I’m rarely present with my food and the company at the table (except when I have company or I'm eating out).
Thankfully, this changed while I was on my cleanse. I’ve been enjoying sitting down to my meals with gratitude. I remember to breathe. When I notice the pull of my life tugging at me when I’m eating, I refocus on the meal and the time I’m taking to nourish myself. I remember to breathe. So in answer to your question, Dad, I’m starting to nourish myself now.
Do you still have expectations that your ex will change, even though you’re not together? Would it help to refocus on yourself and what you can change? For example, are your mealtimes enjoyable? What would make them more nourishing?
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
Albert Einstein
I’m officially over my cleanse. This morning I ask myself, "What did I cleanse over the past 12 days?" Physically I detoxed and cleared out my digestive system while dropping the few extra pounds (an added bonus). I’ve reset my taste buds so that even a bit of sugar seems like a lot and I’ve become more conscious of what I’m eating. Emotionally, I’ve let go of the idea that Ex-man and I could have been any different. I’m more willing to accept who he is rather than who I would have liked him to be (as Einstein’s quote suggests). Despite it being a moot point now that we’re no longer together, I realize that I carried that desire for him to speak differently, act differently, and be different even in our dealings around our children. It’s clear that expecting something different is like banging my head against the same old wall and do I really need to do that anymore?
At the beginning of the cleanse, I recalled a dream in which my father asked me, “When will you nourish yourself?” Throughout the twelve days of cleansing, this question came to my awareness frequently when I was doing things that were not nourishing. I was forced to look at the manner in which I ingest food (my pre-cleanse understatement, “I could eat more slowly.”) I realized that when I sit down to eat, I usually have a hundred other things on my mind: if I’m at home, it’s all the jobs I have to do; if I’m at work, it’s all the tasks that I have to finish, and usually I’m getting up and down as I perform those tasks. Bottom line - I’m rarely present with my food and the company at the table (except when I have company or I'm eating out).
Thankfully, this changed while I was on my cleanse. I’ve been enjoying sitting down to my meals with gratitude. I remember to breathe. When I notice the pull of my life tugging at me when I’m eating, I refocus on the meal and the time I’m taking to nourish myself. I remember to breathe. So in answer to your question, Dad, I’m starting to nourish myself now.
Do you still have expectations that your ex will change, even though you’re not together? Would it help to refocus on yourself and what you can change? For example, are your mealtimes enjoyable? What would make them more nourishing?
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