79 Marbles
They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
Antonio Porchia
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Søren Kierkegaard
I had a meltdown last night. Ironically, the topic of the day went from receiving gratitude graciously to not receiving gratitude at all…I made a healthy dinner that the kids complained about and my daughter flatly said she wouldn’t eat. I got her some good clothes at a second-hand store that she said she wouldn’t wear any of them. I know that motherhood isn’t ingratiating, but what bothers me most is I’m not satisfied with what I’m able to offer my kids right now. Another one of my friends just got a fabulous job while I continue to go to school while waitressing to pay the bills.
I was feeling overwhelmed and premenstrual and I needed a good cry. A friend called during my mini-meltdown and while normally I let the wet weather pass before trying to connect with anyone, last night I needed a friend. I told her all the things that were bothering me and I added that I felt like I was in starting to be a downer to my friends. She said that I was being way too hard on myself. She told me that whenever she comes to my house, our home feels so good: the kids are in good spirits, the food is good, the vibe is good. She repeated, “You’re being way too hard on yourself.” I listened and I knew she was right. Thank goodness for good friends.
This morning while I was driving the kids to school, the radio announcer "randomly" played an excerpt of the commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave at Stanford. As I listened to it, I felt he was speaking directly to me:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path and that will make all the difference.”
I listened and I knew he was right. I may not be on the well worn path but it is my path.
Are you harder on yourself than you are on other people? Do you have faith that the dots of your life will connect, even if they look random and disconnected at times? What would it take to be okay with the occasional discomfort of trailblazing your own path?
They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
Antonio Porchia
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Søren Kierkegaard
I had a meltdown last night. Ironically, the topic of the day went from receiving gratitude graciously to not receiving gratitude at all…I made a healthy dinner that the kids complained about and my daughter flatly said she wouldn’t eat. I got her some good clothes at a second-hand store that she said she wouldn’t wear any of them. I know that motherhood isn’t ingratiating, but what bothers me most is I’m not satisfied with what I’m able to offer my kids right now. Another one of my friends just got a fabulous job while I continue to go to school while waitressing to pay the bills.
I was feeling overwhelmed and premenstrual and I needed a good cry. A friend called during my mini-meltdown and while normally I let the wet weather pass before trying to connect with anyone, last night I needed a friend. I told her all the things that were bothering me and I added that I felt like I was in starting to be a downer to my friends. She said that I was being way too hard on myself. She told me that whenever she comes to my house, our home feels so good: the kids are in good spirits, the food is good, the vibe is good. She repeated, “You’re being way too hard on yourself.” I listened and I knew she was right. Thank goodness for good friends.
This morning while I was driving the kids to school, the radio announcer "randomly" played an excerpt of the commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave at Stanford. As I listened to it, I felt he was speaking directly to me:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path and that will make all the difference.”
I listened and I knew he was right. I may not be on the well worn path but it is my path.
Are you harder on yourself than you are on other people? Do you have faith that the dots of your life will connect, even if they look random and disconnected at times? What would it take to be okay with the occasional discomfort of trailblazing your own path?
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