The Limo Guy

40 Marbles

    Tonight when I went to work, a regular customer, who I haven’t seen for several months,  came in and sat in my section. I had only ever seen him with his girlfriend and I asked where she was. He answered that she had been diagnosed with cancer and had died a month ago. I gave him my condolences and a couple of times throughout his dinner, he was teary and visibly sad.  Near the end of his meal, there was a mistake at another table and an extra dessert was made. I noticed that it was the favorite dessert of my customer and his girlfriend. I brought it for my mourning customer and told him that his girlfriend must have arranged it. 
    I could tell that he appreciated the gesture but instead of thanking me, he asked me out. I was a bit shocked that he could go so quickly from crying on my shoulder to asking me out on a date so I stammered some lame excuse about dating someone who lives in New Orleans (not exactly the truth, but the best I could muster). He responded by telling me that long-distance relationships seldom work and then he handed me his business card.  He owned a limo company and he told me that if I ever needed a limo, I could call him and he would hook me up. 
    Yikes! Was I really giving out that vibe? It seemed like the restaurant version of the Florence Nightingale effect in which the customer develops feelings for the caring server. Or was it just that he was emotionally messed up and probably shouldn’t have been heading out in public yet? 
    I know a breakup and a death are different, but they both involve loss. I remembered those first months at the beginning of the marbles when even having to be social in the schoolyard was a stretch. When I recalled that time, I was able to have more compassion for the limo guy who was obviously feeling lonely and bereft. He looked less like a guy trying to quickly replace his girlfriend and more like a guy who was trying to ease his pain. This I could understand… but the answer was still No.

Are you still feeling the loss of your relationship? If so, do you use other attractions to try to mitigate the feelings of loss? Is it better to try to get over the feelings of loss before making other connections?