Zero
Is where the Real Fun starts.
There's too much counting
Everywhere else!
Hafiz
For the first while after the breakup, the breakup itself felt like it was the center of my universe - everything revolved around it. I was raw and most of my energy was spent on surviving the breakup.
As the marbles past, I once again found my center. When I was firmly on my feet, my family functioned better. I was then able to lift my head up and ask this question, “What does my life require of me now?”
And yet, I still carried negative feelings for Ex-man - he still annoyed me and I secretly blamed him for our breakup. Until one restorative yoga class and one visit to the infrared sauna.
I had listened to an interview with Marianne Williamson who said that if you were having trouble with forgiving someone, pray for them and bless them every day for a month. By the end of the month either something will shift with them or something will shift in you. So I decided to give it a try.
In the middle of this process, I went to a yoga class where the teacher spent a great deal of time stretching out our necks. My neck is incredibly tight and my massage therapist once told me, "You hold Ex-man in your neck." She explained that every time she worked on my neck, I would randomly start talking about Ex-man, or he would come to her mind.
So there I was at my yoga class, getting Ex-man stretched out of my neck. I proceeded into the infrared sauna where I continued to stretch out my neck. Each time I moved into a new position, I heard the clear question, "Are you willing to let go of all the stories?" After hearing this question several times, I silently responded, "If I let go of all of the stories, what will I replace them with?" The answer came immediately, "Knowing that he tried."
I will tell you, Dear Reader, that I did not sweat a drop in that infrared sauna, but at that moment my eyes started sweating profusely. That eye sweat streamed down my cheeks and, as Marianne Williamson suggested, something shifted in me. And then there was more space, more space in my neck, more space in me to create the life that I want. (And, yes, the irony is that this is one of my stories.)
"What does your life require of you?"
Check out this piece from performance poet Sarah Kay:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-8jtBOorpE
If you've just landed here for the first time, Welcome! I suggest reading the tabbed pages above (Foreword, The 365 Marble Commitment, and Dear Reader) and then starting in the archive at "365 Marbles - Clearing Space."
If you've come with me this far, Dear Reader, check out the "Afterword" in the tabs above. And the sequel blog - More Marbles: Navigating Online Dating, One Marble at a Time http://datingmarbles.blogspot.ca/.
And, you know what they say, "A rolling marble gathers no moss." Please pass these posts on to anyone you think might enjoy them - friends who have recently experienced a breakup, family members, therapists, or publishers. Let's keep these marbles rolling...
